Some insights of my new/ first story "me myself and him "
⚠️contains bad language/tw⚠️
«Question what would you do if one of the baddest mafia member stands right in front of you ?»
hi this is a still running story in progress tbh i don't have a c...
„You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching, Love like you'll never be hurt, Sing like there's nobody listening, And live like it's heaven on earth."
- William W. Purkey
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Hear me out I got an appointment for a job YES finally! After a long time of letting my sick brother do the hard job, don't get me wrong Jinyoung insisted working for us. He wanted me to get good grades for my future.
I eventually graduated from university in seoul then i moved back to Busan with my brother, I really ripped my ass off for the grades well i most definitely ended up at campus party's but hey that's practically the same effort right?
Jinyoung did somehow a really good job unlike me, he never let me starve, he worked really really hard. Until he got diagnosed with cancer....again life's a bitch doing that to good people. Why didn't it happened to me? I'm not exaclly a good person so i deserve the pain and not my brother he has a good soul he deserves happiness, laugher, excitement and love in his life and not treatment weeks where he has to go through endless pain and pretending to be okay with it.
Me and Jinyoung searched for a long time for a job that suits me and one day Jinyoung came rushing into the house with a job for me and that's the first time i felt hope for the both of us... I want to make him proud as long as I can.
Our parents left us a long time ago so we had to grow up alone with strangers. I went through many physical and mental Depression both of us got abused and Deep holes formed in our hearts Living that Kind of life with unloving People who see u as a runnig check at the end of the month, but somehow I got my live in my hands by thinking of someone else's life.
I wouldn't call myself cold but unfortunately i am but hey that's how I show my love. deal with it or get lost. I do and make dumb choices, I'm always late to every appointment but i don't seem to care either, I just wanna live my life to the fullest without regretting it afterwards. I want to spend the nights with strangers drinking and laughing...just having a good time before getting sucked by the reality the day after.
I don't like people who pretend to be someone who their not, but unfortunately at the end I end up hating myself i don't know who i am and nobody can tell me other than myself at the end of the day.
But I learned soon enough that this world is far from fair, we don't have enough time to know ourselves, we don't have time to love ourselves. Have you ever wondered who you really are? when someone asked you a question and you couldn't answer it...how did it feel? how was that feeling and how did you solve it cause i couldn't i would rather question myself: who am i ?
Somehow we have to live through it and make it the best 'cause you never know.
