American Dream (Zayn Malik AU Fanfic)

Whipped

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It’s been one week.

One whole week of not seeing his face or hearing his voice.

And for an unknown sick reason, I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest. I needed to see him but I couldn’t. His words hurt me like hell and I can’t forgive him for that.

And honestly, I don’t expect him to forgive me for what I did, even though I didn’t do it to harm him. Hell, I didn’t even know it’ll upset him. He knew he would upset me by saying those words. That’s the difference.

What I did was out of innocence and inspiration…what he did was just out of pure hatred and anger.

“So…we’re getting together at the guys’ place today to have a movie night and all…are you going to join us?” El asks me as I get ready.

“El, I know what you’re doing and no, I’m going out with Bryan.” I reply.

Bryan…he’s a whole different story.

He’s sweet and funny and can make me forget my worries. I guess what made me like him was the fact that he was there when I needed someone to talk to. We’ve been talking all week and he would pick me up when I get off work and we would just hang out.

Nothing’s happened and I’m not sure if anything will happen. Or what I’m trying to say is that I’m not sure if I want something to happen or not.

I’m not going to deny my feelings for Zayn but I’m also not going to deny that I’m attracted to Bryan.

“You’ve been going out with Bryan this whole week…what’s going on?” El asks as she scoots closer to me, excitement in her eyes.

This causes me to laugh and I shake my head. “Nothing. We’re only friends.” I think.

“Friends my ass.” She scoffs. “I don’t think friends pick up friends from work every single day and then when they drop them off, they walk them to their flat. Don’t you think?” She says as she bends her head to the side, smiling.

I groan as I cover my face, which I’m pretty sure is as red as a tomato right now. “I mean…I don’t know, okay? I like him. He’s cool, sweet, funny and he’s quite attractive.”

“And…what about Zayn?”

Her questions catches me off guard as I freeze. “W-What about him?”

“Oh, please. Don’t deny your feelings for him. An idiot can sense the sexual tension between you two.”

“Sexual tension?” I ask as I look at her. “No.”

“Yes. You two don’t see it.”

I shake my head at her. “It doesn’t matter. Even if I did have feelings for him, which I don’t.” I lie. “He obviously isn’t over Perrie and I can’t be with someone who still loves someone else.”

“He’s been moping around all week, you know. He’s really sorry.”

I sigh as I sit down. “He shouldn’t have said what he said. El, you know how much I hate being compared to my mother because we are nothing alike. He knows that.”

“Lia…I’m your best friend and you know that…and best friends also point out the other’s mistake. You should have asked for his permission to publish your short story. He had a right to be mad.”

I huffed as I looked down. “I didn’t do it to hurt him. I didn’t mean to. He knew saying what he said would hurt me and he still did it. It’s not fair. You guys can’t all take his side. If I knew that what I wrote would upset him, I wouldn’t have written it. But he knew. Eleanor, he knew that his words would hurt me and he still said them. It’s not fair at all. You guys keep saying that I shouldn’t have written that or I should have asked for permission, well fuck that. Stop looking at what we did and look at the intentions behind what we did. While mine were good, his were out of pure anger and hatred. Do you see why I can’t forgive him?! You guys are throwing all the guilt and fault at me and acting as if he’s the victim.” I could feel the tears and I quickly wipe them away, refusing to cry over him.