Complicated// B.E.

three

   "Alright Bil, what's been going on in the pretty little head of your's today?" I said with a small comforting smile and she giggled.

"Well, i've been struggling with something for awhile and..." she paused to think of what she was going to say next. "I guess last night it just really hit me and i'm scared" she said sadly.

I furrowed my eyebrows not knowing what she's talking about "What is it that you're struggling with?" 

She just stayed silent looking at her hands, stuck in her thoughts. I could tell tears were starting to fill in her eyes again and I pushed some of her hair back behind her ear so I could see her face more.

"Uhm...I think- I think- fuck" she said and looked up trying to control herself.

"It's okay, whatever it is you can trust me. I love you so much" I said.

She then looked at me and said, "I think i'm gay.."

Even though I've always kind of suspected it, it still shocked me. I didn't really know what to say because I've never been in a situation like this. "Oh, when did you find out?" I said it a gentle tone.

"Well, I feel like I've always kind of known. I just never wanted to admit it to myself, I guess I just thought people would hate me if I did. So I kinda just started thinking last night and...here we are."

"Okay well I'm very proud of you Bil, and I love you so much you know that right?" I said with a smile.

She nodded with a small smile "Thank you. I love you too. Thank you for supporting me and thank you for not getting pissed at me when I was a complete dick to you at lunch."

"It's fine b, I was just very worried about you. That's all" I smiled.

"Do you wanna go watch a movie and cuddle?" I asked.

"yes! can Oliver come too?" she pouted.

"He's not really allowed on the couch but...i'll just tell my parents it was for an emergency" I smiled and she gave me a friendly kiss on the cheek and thanked me.

//

After our movie and cuddling sesh ended, Billie decided it was time to go home so she left my house.

Her coming out to me had me really thinking. I've been struggling with sexuality myself since 7th grade, but i've always just said I was straight. But as I got older, I started to notice I was getting more crushes on girls then I was boys. It kind of scared me. My family is christian, and my grandparents are religious and can be pretty homophobic. My parents are kinda the opposite, but i'm still scared for how they would react if they knew.

I mean, I know my friends will support me, especially Billie since she just came out to me an hour ago. That whole "Cuddling sesh" something inside of me just wanted to grab her face and kiss her. But I knew that wouldn't be a good idea at all, and i'm scared that it would potentially ruin our friendship.

I suddenly felt a tear slip down my cheek and before I knew it I was literally balling my eyes out. I guess this is how Billie felt.

I kind of felt pathetic that I was crying over this.

I ended up just finishing a few assignments and eventually fell asleep.

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Sorry this chapter is short, i was too lazy to come up with a better ending to it but whatever.

Right now i'm listening to American Cliché on repeat because it just came out and i'm in love with it OH MY GODDDD.

Alright, bye!! love ya!
-j

(Future me re editing this story, you can tell how old this is just by my authors note lmao)