Complicated// B.E.

six

"So you like Billie?"

I sighed and looked down at my hands unsure of what to say.

We were currently sitting on my bed as I confessed everything that I was feeling to Ivy. I feel like I spilled a little too much and now i'm not sure what to say.

"I don't know...yeah I guess" I confessed.

"Are you going to tell her?" She asked. uh no...

"Well obviously not, she doesn't like me back I know she doesn't" I paused and suddenly remembered what happened earlier. "Well at least I think she doesn't..." I muttered.

"What do you mean by you think? Has she showed any sign of liking you back?"

"Well.." I really didn't wanna tell her about the almost kiss but here we are I guess. "Well when she was over here earlier, I told her I liked someone and she really wanted me to tell her about them. So she started straddling me and tickling me and one thing kinda led to another and it was almost like she was about to kiss me, but we got interrupted."

"I guess it could have been just been me being too in my head and maybe she wasn't trying to kiss me but I don't know" I sighed.

She had a shocked look on her face before she replied "Maybe you should be honest with her and talk to her about it? I'm not very good at this kind of stuff because I've never been in a situation like this but maybe that could potentially help?" she said in a convincing tone.

"I don't know. Maybe I might" I said as I looked down at my hands with a sad look on my face. "This shit sucks."

Ivy laughed and threw her arms around my body hugging me tightly. "Everything will be okay Lorelei I promise you. If you need me for anything please talk to me."

"Okay" I sighed "I love you."

"I love you too Rory bug" Ivy smiled.

///

It was now Monday back at school, which sucked. I was a little nervous to show up to school today because I had a test that I completely forgot to study for, and also this whole situation with Billie.

But when I got here I noticed Billie wasn't waiting with all of our friends at the front of the school like she usually is. She also wasn't in first period or any of our classes. I was confused because even though she doesn't like school, she almost always shows up.

"Ivy do you know why Billie isn't here? I wanted to talk to her about...you know..." I muttered quietly.

She had a confused look on her face but then soon realized what I was talking about "Oh, no I don't. She usually always shows up. We should go check on her after school. Make sure she's not dead" she chuckled.

"Yeah that a good idea."

"Oh wait-I can't. I have soccer practice right after school." she frowned.

"That's okay I can just go by myself" I said as she nodded.

///

"Lory!" Finneas yelled when he opened the door to see I was standing outside it.

"Finneas. Please stop calling me that I sound like i'm an 80 year old woman." I scoffed.

"Well that's because you are an 80 year old woman, Lory" he replied with a smile while I rolled my eyes.

"Uh, is Billie here? I haven't seen her all day and I was just coming to check on her."

"Yeah I think she's here?" he gave me a confused look "Sorry, I just got here like an hour ago. I haven't seen her yet today but her door is closed and the light is on so I'm pretty sure she's in there" he smiled while I thanked him.

"Billie?" I knocked on her door.

I didn't hear a reply or any noise at all so I decided to just burst in. hopefully she's wearing clothes

When I opened the door I saw she had a pile of blankets surrounding her. One was wrapped around her body, another around her head and the rest were covering her legs. It was like she was being swallowed by a bunch of blankets.

"Billie? what are you doing?" I asked.

She finally turned her head to look over in my direction with wide eyes. She had like a sorta scared look on her face?

"Rory! you can't be here!" she rushed out.

"Why is there some criminal activity going on in here or something? did you murder someone? Please don't tell me you murdered someone. I don't want you going to jail, I'll die without you" I fake cried.

"Shut the fuck up Rory. I was saying you can't be here because I'm sick. Therefore I don't want you to get sick." she had a small pout on her face "I would be upset if I got you sick.

"Is your mom home?"

"No, she and my dad had to go do something today. That's why Finneas is here but he's not helping. I don't think he knows why my mom told him to come over."

"Oh. Well then I'm going to be your care taker for today!"

"Oh god" she scoffed

//

"Can I ask you something?" Billie asked breaking the comfortable silence.

We were currently cuddling on Billies bed while we watched whatever movie Billie put on. Earlier I attempted to make her food but...it didn't go well. But for some reason Billie still ate it.

"Uh-yeah sure. What is it?"

"So when I was at your house yesterday, and uhm we were watching that movie and uhm"-

She paused to think about what she was going to say even though I knew what she was going to say, so I cut her off.

"Billie it's okay. We were just- caught in the moment that's all" I said as I gave her a big smile.

She looked down with slight disappointment in her eyes as she responded with a small 'yeah'.

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i am very tired. school is draining and i hate it. <3

haven't touched this book since July 14th of 2021, it's august 25th 2021 now.

-j