99 ways to say I love you- Draco Malfoy

No.70

Hurting her was the last thing I ever wanted to do

Hermione felt awful. She hated the way her best friend barely ate, barely slept, barely talked. She was a shell of herself.

She came to see the boys in Hogsmeade and she smiled at Ron's attempts to cheer up but it never met her eyes.

She wrote letter after letter to George but she never talked about what she was going through.

She allowed Ginny to inform Molly of what was going on and she cried as she ate the large box of fudge Molly sent to try and cheer her up.

Hermione also hated the way Draco looked just as sad. He never seemed to be smiling. He always seemed quiet and she hadn't seen him eat in the three months that had passed, although Theo insisted he force fed the boy.

Hermione had grown to care for Draco and with Emily's blessing she made an effort to maintain that friendship. Despite Harry telling her it was worthless. Ginny told him to fuck off and also stayed friends with the boy.

Draco opened up to the girls. He knew they were the only people who she might be talking to and he also knew they were the people who he had to convince. Convince that he still cared.

"Emily, you sure you don't mind?" Hermione asks quietly. The pair found themselves sat in the great hall. Emily pushing some spaghetti around with a fork.

"No, I'm fine. Go and study with Draco," she insists, shooting her best friend the small smile that was barely believable that Hermione had grown used to.

"I can wait for Dean and Seb to get here,"

"You hate being late. I'm fine on my own for two minutes 'Mione, promise I won't pitch myself off the astronomy tower,"

Emily knew her friends were worried over how she was doing. It's why they never let have her two minutes alone.

"alright. I'll be in the library if you need me,"

**

"How is she?" Draco asks. He had been studying with Hermione for under five minutes and barely asked how her day was.

"The same. George is coming to visit this weekend, hopefully he can help cheer her up," Hermione admits. She hates the look on Draco's face. It's guilt and heartbreak all at once.

"You know hurting her was the last thing I ever wanted to do,"

"I do. She does too. She just needs time,"

"You reckon she will ever forgive me?"

"She will. I'm almost certain. She's hurting right now, so much happened over the past year and she needed to heal. She still does. You were like the one thing that let her escape everything and now she feels a little lost. She needs to process and then I am sure you two will be friends again,"

"I don't deserve that," Draco admits. He doesn't look at Hermione, he doesn't want her to see the tears in his eyes.

"What you said wasn't that bad-"

"I told her she was selfish and that it was her fault we weren't together. Told her I would rather she had suffered her whole life being someone she wasn't. It was bad. It was awful and I hate myself for it. Don't try and make me feel better by telling me it wasn't bad. We all know it was fucking disgusting,"

"Okay it was bad. But it's not something she couldn't forgive you for. She knows you better than anyone, she knows deep down that you lashed out and took your anger out on the first person there. She can forgive you for what you said and she will Draco. Just give her a minute,"

"Hermione, I can't loose her. I can't not have her in my life. Her not talking to me breaks me. She won't even look at me and I can't live knowing that if I see her in the street she won't look at me. I can't do it. It's selfish I know that. But I need her Hermione. I really do. I can't have her hate me. I can pretend and I can put on a show for my parents and I can act like the perfect pure blood son but not if she hates me,"

"She doesn't hate you. If she hated you what you said wouldn't have mattered. She needs time. Just be patient. She can't loose you either," Hermione speaks and Draco can't help the loud groan.

"Need her back," He admits and no one could ever question it. Not when he says it with that look in his eyes.