99 ways to say I love you- Draco Malfoy

No.18

You're the best thing that's happened to me in a long time

She pushes the door open to see he's staring at the photos on her wall. He looks slightly less put together than normal but presentable. A Malfoy is always presentable.

He turns quickly when she enters the room, watching as she shuts to door and locks it.

"I'm not good at this. At the boyfriend thing I mean, I have never done it before and I never thought that there'd be someone I wanted to do it for. But then there way you and now I'm trying to do it and- I- well clearly I'm not good at it," he starts. He feels small under her intense glare.

She looks at him expectantly. She may be prepared to forgive the boy in front of her for almost anything because to her it was all worth it. That, however, did not mean she would let him ignore her for days and then just waltz back in. It was like Ginny had said, she wouldn't be walked all over.

She also didn't want to admit the thought running round her head was that he was actually a very good boyfriend for the most part.

"I asked Blaise, he's had a million girlfriends, what's the one most important thing. Cause I knew I missed you and I was really hoping that I hadn't fucked up that yknow? The one most important thing, if I hadn't fucked that then maybe I would be able to make it up to you," he continues, a sad look evident in his eyes.

"And what was Blaise's golden rule to dating?" She questions, eye brows raised and a cool glare in her eyes.

"Communication," he admits, smiling a little when she lets out a loud laugh, a laugh that isn't even sarcastic.

"Thing is, something happened and I freaked out. I know should have come, should have talked to you about it. I just- well- I wanted to know what to say when I did. Wanted to have some comforting promise and wanted you to not worry. It doesn't change anything for me, but, I know you and I know you'll overthink and worry and doubt us and-"

"What happened? I swear to Merlin if you have kissed somebody else I will not be able to bring myself to forgive you-"

"I would never." He cuts off her worries, reaching out to grab her hand and he's surprised to see she doesn't pull away.

"What happened?" She questions, her voice almost a whisper.

"Professor Snape, he told my mother about us. Wrote to her that night, after he saw us, and the next day at breakfast when mail came I had a letter from my father," he explains. It all makes sense to her very quickly.

"What did he say?"

"Em, I- it doesn't matt-"

"It does matter. It matters to me. What did he say?"

"What he said isn't true. I don't want it-"

"Draco I know my own worth. I know I'm a good person and I know that I have the made the right choices and I know that I am happy with the people in my life and the person I have become. Whatever your father has to say about me will not change any of that. But I do have to know what he said," she demands, and his heart hurts and the fact he knows she's right. Knows she should know what his father and a pit of guilt sits in his stomach at having to say it.

"He said that you were a traitor, that you're going up the wrong path with the wrong sorts of people, that you were not somebody worthy of being associated with me. That you were not someone I should seek out let alone date. That you would tarnish my family like you did yours and that I should break up with you to protect our reputation," he speaks quietly and he hates the look in her eyes.

She'd expected it all, knew that's what the Malfoy's would think, but it didn't make it easier. Because in a way, he was right.

She was the big black mark on her family tree. Draco being associated with her did make his family lesser in the view of their social circle.

She didn't agree with anything believed by anyone like that. Yet, to them she was everything he had claimed. To them, she was Draco's worst mistake, something he would grow to regret.

And it broke her heart to admit that with all that being true she should do the right thing. She should allow Draco an out, because all of this meant something to him.

"Draco. You know how I feel about you. You know this is the last thing I want, but, if you want to pick them. I will give you an out. No hard feelings. No grudges. I will understand you wanting to do what's right by them. Because I get it, there was a long time that I would have done anything, cut ties with anyone, for my family to love me again. I was raised the same way and I may not believe in it but I will respect you picking your family and doing right by them and I won't hold against you or cause a fuss," she's quiet. Scared to say it. Scared he'll take the out.

He can't help the feeling of his heart cracking as he wipes a tear from her cheek. The thought of loosing her is too much for him bare. And as he holds her face in his hands, trying to get the tears to not stain her face and break his heart even further, he wishes she would understand that.

"I don't have many choices in my life. I never say no to them and I behave and do as I am told. I do what it takes to protect them, protect our name," he starts, wincing slightly at the way she won't look at him and a sob escapes her and his own eyes are damp just at seeing the way she reacts. "But there's a line. A line that's so clear to me. You're the line Emily. You're worth so much more than any of that. You're the best thing that's happened to me in a long time, and I won't loose you. Not cause of them. Not cause of any of that," he finishes.

She feels like she can breathe again as she throws her arms around him in the biggest hug he's ever received, he holds her impossibly closer and presses kisses into her neck and the shoulder he had hurried his face into.

"You're sure?"

"I'm certain," he admits "and I'm sorry I didn't just tell you all this to start with. I just needed to gather my thoughts and work it all out,"

"I understand. I'm not mad,"