Find Me: Follow The Words We Shared

3. Hold me tight

Wuxie and Zhang were never upset going apart. They were so clear about their future. What they planned was to study and come back here. However, Wuxie couldn't make it in time. Not only that he didn't come he also stopped contacting Zhang and Zhang, he couldn't reach him at all. But he decided to wait for him, hoping one-day wuxie will come. Zhang must have dreamed about their encounter a million times but none of them didn't match what happened. Wuxie seemed to be reluctant to even look straight to Zhang. But as Wuxie chose to come back he patiently waited for wuxie to make things clear with him.

Wuxie parked the car near the left of a lone tree by the road. He opened the trunk and sat inside it, legs down. Zhang followed him. Looking straight ahead it was a vast land, probably farmland. After the harvest, the field lost its green turning it into a field of caramel. There was soon going down.

"Xiaoge, I don't know where to start. I'm sorry I made you worry, I made you wait for me, I left you to strive alone."

"Wuxie..."

"Xiaoge I didn't mean to... I truly never wanted to leave you. But.. I had an accident soon after I enrolled in college. I was unconscious for months. And when I woke up I couldn't remember much. I didn't forget about you completely. I know you. I know about the friend I used to call every day. But Xiaoge I never thought all those moments we shared would leave me just like that. I tried hard to find them back. After continuous therapy sessions, treatments, and all I could only retrieve some fragments."

Wuxie talked without looking at Zhang where Zhang was looking at him, seeing how hurt he was, blaming himself for not being his side. The fact that he lost all memories of them was painful but all Zhang could think was how wuxie lived in this pain. Who was with him, taking care of him? What if he was all alone, suffering physically and mentally. Zhang's eyes become blurry. Small drops of tears fell.

"Wuxie..."

"I know you will be worried. But the real reason I didn't contact you is not that accident. I lost my 2 years. I couldn't finish my course. I couldn't be able to become the wuxie you want to see. And, I couldn't let you see my pathetic self. I was nothing. But you.. You were ahead of me. Which face should I let you see? I know you don't down on me but still. So I was trying hard to reach a height. I only dared to see you then.
I'm sorry.... Please Don't hate me."

Wuxie cried. Zhang couldn't stand still anymore, he pulled wuxie into an embrace. Wuxie buried his head in Zhang's shoulders. All the pain he had deeply hidden was flowing out. Wuxie couldn't recollect he being hugged by Zhang, there wasn't anything in his diary too. This warmth, new or not, wuxie didn't want to let go. He already expected that Zhang will be listening to him patiently without uttering a word. Wuxie was prepared for any kind of reaction. But this hug was a total surprise for him. Wuxie stayed in that tight hug for quite long, waiting for the storm inside him to settle. He let a deep sigh when he could find the clam at last. Then suddenly he heard the deep voice murmuring.

"I'm happy you chose to come back at last. I'm happy to be the one you can let your worries out. Now everything will be alright wuxie."

Zhang's words not only give wuxie the assurance it was also a moment of realization for him. He could finally confirm the Zhang he used to spend his first decade of life, the Zhang who used to occupy almost all of his dairy writings, he is here for him.

"Xiaoge, hold me tight. Don't let me go anymore. I don't think I will be okay without you."

Wuxie could finally smile and the little laugh melted all the worries of Zhang too.

"Wuxie, let's go back. It's getting dark."

"Okay", Wuxie replied with a cute smile. His eyes were red by all the crying but the smile covered it well lighting up the other's face too.

Wuxie refused to let Zhang drive. He should stick to his promise to serve Zhang. Wuxie now was an entirely different person. He was smiling so big. Zhang just sat there watching him. Without realizing he was smiling too.

Zhang had always loved to watch wuxie silently. The way he talks, his expression, the reactions, his smile, his pouting, sulking, frowning, everything was a treat to Zhang's eyes. Wuxie too loved this. The way Zhang just sits with him watching his every movement, listening to all the ridiculous things he says. He also loved hiking with him. But with all the talking wuxie will be out of energy halfway and Zhang will carry him back. Wuxie and Zhang had such a wonderful time in the teenage days. And it's going to be more memorable.

" Xiaoge.. Let's talk. I have a lot to say to you. And I promise you from today whatever you say, I'm gonna remember it even after my death. "

"Okay." Zhang smiled at him.

"First of all... How have you been? I mean I know you're enjoying your job. But still how were your days without me."

"Mmm...Okay. I traveled a lot."

"Of course, isn't that what you like. And today how it went. That place is so plain. What did you take?"

"Even just a plain field can be captured beautifully. I walked ahead there were abandoned building inside the woods. It was a good frame."

"Ohh.. That's interesting. You walked pretty far, don't you? How come you are okay. If it was me I'll be as good as dead. And how come you are not lost. Do you put signs as you go?"

"No. Walk to the right to reach the destination right. That's my principle."

"You crazy. Even from that distance, the forest looks dark and scary. From today you are not allowed to roam around alone. I can't follow you so find an assistant right away. You know I got two. It's helpful. You will get used to it in no time. Do you understand?"

"Mmm"

"Huh?? Xiaoge... I'm worried about you..."

"I will look for someone."

"Good boy."

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Author's note:-

Sorry for this chapter. I rushed it so It's not so polished. Forgive me for mistakes. But I hope you will be able to connect to pingxie.

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