It Wasn't Meant To Be

Chapter 53

"I understand Violet, I shouldn't have imposed this on you, you have your own life to live." I rubbed my eyes, this was so awkward and I didn't want to seem like a rude person, "It's okay Reed, sometimes we expect things to happen but they don't, I am sorry for being this rude." Reed replied, "No Violet, I understand, it was my fault that I was never with you in your hard times and even now I am not there, I treated you like a chess piece but I learned my lesson. I guess it's too late anyway." I sheepishly laughed, "I am glad I was able to help you grow but I just want this to be over with, your media reputation has grown drastically, the Wall Street Journal was really something, Most Charitable CEO." Reed cackled, "Did you like the cover picture?" I gawked at the phone, "Reed, what the hell!" 

"I'm just joking, the photographer wanted us both to be in the picture but I refused. You wouldn't have liked it and I didn't want to impose. Our outings as a couple haven't been the best." I laughed, "A little yeah. Thank you for understanding." 

"No worries at all, good night then. Will you come to the apartment again?" I shrugged, "Probably, all my luggage is there and I want to stay away from my parents as much as I can, at least for a bit. Maybe I'll get counseling or therapy then." Reed was confused, "Therapy? I mean sure you have your own choice but why do you need it?" I replied, "I just wanted to discuss some pent up emotions and assess my own behavior if there was anything wrong with me. I have been through a lot of trauma and I wanted some PTSD trauma counseling." Reed sighed, "No Violet, there's nothing wrong with you and there's no shame in seeking help and I am really sorry that I wasn't there for you when you needed somebody the most. Ugh! I hate being this ignorant." I interrupted, "Reed it's not your fault and everybody makes mistakes, I was really cold and distant with you as well. Uh listen, it's getting late and I want to sleep now. I'll come over tomorrow then." Reed hummed a positive response and I hung up the phone, falling down on my pillow. Even if I tried, I wouldn't be able to sleep anymore. There was complete darkness around me and I imagined various scenarios on the ceiling, my wedding, childhood, and graduation. The only things that should have been important but weren't, I needed to get over some things; look for new avenues, and be a more "open to experiences" type of person so I messaged my therapist, Dr. Sandra, to book an appointment for tomorrow. In a few minutes, she replied to my text and then I wasn't able to sleep again, Reed kept running around my mind like a hamster on a wheel. If I spoke my heart, why did it feel so wrong? It was not supposed to be this way; to be honest, I was flattered by how someone was hoping to be with me, a mess of a person. But I wasn't really a mess, was I? 

I walked out on the balcony and looked down at my backyard where all my memories remained, growing up was hard, I wish I could still be in oblivion and forget about what the future holds for me; something they never tell you about in high school.

Reed's POV

I kept looking at the clock but I tossed and turned, but sleep wouldn't come. It was 5 o clock and I had to wake up at 7 am for work but why was I so restless? There was a constant pain in my chest, a burden that wouldn't go off; I should have listened to my parents and broken up with Melanie when I had the chance. I still remember Violet when I married her, how much I loathed her at that time but she paved her path in my heart as time passed; but I was a coward that didn't want to admit that I started to like her, if she ever called on me to help her, I would have left Melanie and been with her. Only if I knew and how much I missed her presence, just a few meters away from my room and then it struck me how hurt she was when Violet told me that I could have lied about not dating Astrid but I too had a past, I had no idea that I would be put into this circumstance. Then our dinner party incident and how bitchy I had been towards her; with that thought, I jumped out of bed and scrambled around for my phone, hoping that Violet would have texted me back but there was nothing, what was wrong with me?

Why had I dragged myself in this mess?

Unable to do anything, I called my best friend Alexander, maybe he had the advice I needed, I really wanted to know how I could apologize to her and make things right between us. "Hello?" Alexander's sleepy voice reverberated through the phone and I felt a pang of guilt. "Alexander, I am in deep trouble this time." He groaned, "What did you do this time? Please don't tell me that you tried to kill someone." I scratched my neck, "No I didn't, I need some relationship advice that perhaps only you can give me." 

"You have been in a relationship for six years, why are you asking me?" I sighed, "I wanted to ask for a friend of mine, he's in a difficult situation." Alexander laughed, "Friend, yeah okay, go on." I huffed, "Dude I'm serious." He wouldn't stop laughing, "Go on Reed." 

"So he really likes or on the spectrum of love, loves this girl and he has been a real ass to her for quite some time but he doesn't understand how he can apologize to her, he just wants a fresh beginning." Alexander was silent for some time, "Tell your so called friend that he should try to change himself by his actions and show that girl that he truly deserves her, and if she loves him then she'll understand and accept him." I was confused, "Alexander wait-" He interrupted, "Reed I have to sleep now but there's one thing I want you to know, my grandma always used to say that, boys will always be boys until they meet the person they're willing to change themselves for."

With that, the line went dead.

Violet's POV

"I don't understand Sandra, I have never been this way before, I just feel so vulnerable." She tapped her pen against the clipboard, "And why are you feeling these emotions?' I groaned, "I have no idea, whenever I'm around him, I get that friend type of aura. It's dangerous how much I have that sense of trust for him." I rolled my eyes as I sipped my coffee, "I sense some behavior changes in you Violet, you're becoming cynical and that hopefully means you can have PTSD counseling as well." I was about to spit my coffee, "I know but how do you know that." She laughed, "I am your therapist but before we progress any further, I want you to take a vacation." 

"I am going to a medical seminar in Iowa next month, I think that's a vacation." Sandra got up from her chair, "Violet, I mean a real relationship, like in Europe or something and I can sense that you're overworked." I shook my head, "Europe? Seems like a whole plan. But I love to work." Sandra replied, "I love therapy and listening to your concerns and sometimes I can get tired of working too so I go out of country or a different state." 

With that, I got out of Dr. Sandra's office and sat back in my car, en route to my hospital but i had decided that I would attend the Business Convention on behalf of my parents in Paris. It was final. But the problem was, how would I say sorry to my parents.