Euphoria

Part 16 Guilt

"Love is the river
That rushes by too quickly
Even as you're learning
How to swim."

❤️💫

Sara's POV

I'm such a hollow person who can't handle things without breaking people and their hearts. I just play with their emotions for my sanity. Maybe I don't know how to love and how to take relationships forward.
Fuck me!!! Yesterday what I did to him was so shitty. I broke his heart once again.

I was not done blaming myself when my phone rang.
It was Kiki. She's going to shout. Definitely Kartik must be in tears and obviously she will react and I know..yeah I deserve her wrath. That's how it is..

"Hello Kiki..!" I said in my coughy voice.

"Hello Sara. How are you?" She called but I have been so well up with emotions that I gave my phone to mom immediately..

"Hello beta..!" Mom talked to her and put off the call.

"Kya hua mom. Kya keh rhi thi Kritika?" I asked all tensed and petrified.

"Kartik ke baare me puch rhi thi..if he's here! I said no he's not. And you my cry baby. Dhyaan rakho apna." Amma patted my back and left the room but my eyeballs jumped out in horror. He hasn't gone home. He's out.
For whole one day, he's out. This man will make me go crazy!!!!
Suddenly my phone rang again. It was again Kiki.

"Bhai kaha hain? Or aunty ko phone mat dena..!" She said while crying.

"Vo kal hi chala gya tha." I didn't lie.

"Wtf! To ghar kyu ni aaya?" She shrieked.

"Maybe he's upset.?"

"Ab kyu?"

"We had a fight!"

"What?? Sara are you serious? He's this hurt? My god!!! Corona hai. And what are you doing to him!!!" She began crying.

"I know. Par muje nhi pata tha ke ye ho jaega..!"

"Tumhe kuch pata hota hai. Ab mai kaha dhundu use. He's not picking my phone."

"I'm sorry Kiki..!"

"You are not. You are such a pathetic woman. I can't even...! Tumhe idea bhi hai. Mummy ko kya kahu mai?" She was literally gritting her teeth and I was numb to say anything. I don't know how to console her and what to do with myself for doing all this to him.

"I'm sorry..!"

"Shut the fuck up!! And get a life. Jisme Kartik na ho." She said in pure agony and loath. And tears brimmed in my eyes.
As soon as she disconnected, everything in front of my eyes went black.

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Kartik's POV

✨Shayad kabhi na keh saku Mai tumko kahe bina samjh lo tum shayad✨

My stereo played shayad as I was in my car, Drinking my favourite alcohol. I drink sometimes but please I don't drug.
Well yeah I'm in my car for whole one day. I don't want to deal with my family and lie to them that it's alright between us. Because I can't tell them how I have failed in love. How I was always unable to make her feel my love. Maybe yes one day she gets to realise.

✨ Shayad mere khayal me tum ek din milo mujhe kahin pe gum shayad✨

Maybe one day in my dreams we can meet. In a parallel world, or among the stars. One day. Maybe our star crossed love gets its Destination. Though She makes me cry a lot but still I love her. Why she doesn't understand that I don't want to lose her and Don't want to be without her anymore. I don't want to let her go, because maybe our stars lead her back home.

✨ Jo tum na ho rahenge hum nahi✨

These lines. Oh my god!! I never felt such strong vibes, from songs before. But Sara made me fall and feel wholly new, cherished and special. Maybe I failed in making her feel the same.

✨Na chahiye kuch tumse zyada tumse kam nahi✨

Yes!! Utter truth. I don't want anybody else. Kunwara reh jaunga zindagi bhar. Pr ab nhi. Kyuki saccha pyaar ek hi baar hota hai. Baar baar to films ki jaati hain. Hahahha! Bad joke. But what else I can do when I'm heavily drunk..!

✨Chaahat Kasam nahi hai, koi rasam nahi hai Dil ka veham nahi hai, paana hai tumko✨

Naah! I don't agree with the last line. Mujhe ab nhi paana usko. Because I don't love her because, I love her despite. Ufff!! My dil is deaddd!!! You are beating Sara!

✨Khwabo me gaao jiska rasta na aam jiska chahat hai naam jiska paana hai tumko✨

Ye bhi sach hai. Hahahaha! Kyaa yaar!! I don't want to remember her. It hurts! She makes me go away, she forces me away from her..which I don't want. I think..we don't know how to love because yeah. We don't know. We were learning but it's too late. She doesn't trust me.
My sobs got heavy and coughy. I laid back and Kiki is still ringing my phone. Uffff!!

✨Ho Tum jaha milenge hum vahi✨

Absolutely! I'll meet her in a parallel world. In my dreams probably. Or somewhere else. In award shows yeah. I'll stare at here and she will be embarrassed. Hahhaaha. But I'll keep staring with love ofcourse..
I'll do shooting at her locations. Oops. It will be stalking no.
But I can stalk her. Haq hai mera. Yeah I own her and it's like wise.

"Na na na na...!" I smilingly hummed and drifted to deep slumber.

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A/N : Love is something about trials and tribulations. Let's hope they reunite in my fiction ASAP ❤️