Euphoria

Part 19 Euphoria

"Give me your Fears,
and I will wrap them up
and put them
under my Pillow,
so we can share 
The Nightmares together."

❤️💫

Sara's POV

"Kartiikkkk...!!" I screamed at the top of my voice, my pupils were dilated, heart beating at the fastest pace, I was heavily breathing as I was high on my emergency hormones. But after a second I realised that there was no road, no ice cream vendor, no accident, nothing was there in front of eyes..! Not-even-Kartik!
All I can see were mom, Orry and Ibbu around me asking repeatedly if I'm fine or not.

"Amma Kartik kaha hai???" I asked only one question as that's the only thing I want to know right at the moment.

"Ibrahim go call Kartik..!" Mom looked at me again after instructing Ibbu and held my face in her hands. "Sshh..! Sab thik ho jaega. He must be alright meri jaan!" She tried to pacify me as I began sobbing. "Or ab tum mujhe batao ki kesi ho beta, pata hai mai kitna ghabra gyi thi, 10 ghanto baad tumhe hosh aaya hai!" She said rubbing the back of my head while Orry was staring me with moist eyes.

"Mera hosh aana na aana matter ni karta hai. Kyuki agar Kartik ko kuch hogya na...! Mummaa!!! Mai nhi jee paungi." I cried loudly in the end as my body shivered at my thoughts.
The dream which I just saw has put my senses to paralysis and I don't know why I'm getting so bad vibes.

"Amaa..! Mujhe kuch bhi..acha ni lag raha ..kuch sahi ni lag raha. Maine use bhut hurt kia hai ammaa. Bhut jaada. Or ab uska pata bhi ni chal raha hai mai kya karu?" I cried just then Ibbu entered and said "he's not picking his call."

"Such a sore loser!!!" Orhan commented and as a reflex I stood up on the bed and held his collars. "Can you just shut up!!!" The built up anger, frustration, pain, turmoil, hardships erupted out of me like lava from volcano. But soon the fire was all extinguished as I wasn't in my full health. I dropped back on the bed and began crying "aap log samjhte kyu nhi hain...koi kyun nhi samjh raha ke mujhe bhut dar lag raha hai . And I need him. I need to see him right here in front of me and HE IS NOT A LOSER!" I eyed Orry at the last line.
Seeing so much of anger and rage against him in my eyes, he immediately left from there. I didn't stop him either. I didn't have the intent of doing anything like that right now. What I just want at the moment is to know where Kartik is!? How is he? Is he fine? Why hasn't he reached his house for fucking three days? Why? Why? Why? He mustn't have a diet. What if he would be drinking night and day!? I know these boys..! They just resort themselves to drink..! "Ammaa..! I wanna meet Kartik!!! Mai..mai ek kaam karti hu mai bahar jaake use dhundhti hu. Haa..! I will search him..!"

"Sara..! Sara!!" Mom tried to stop me but I got up anyway and looked for my mask and gloves. I don't have my hairs done! And I don't know what I'm wearing right now, is even good as media must be outside the house. Well who cares!! I'll leave from the other gate.

I went to the gate just to budge into someone. We literally banged our heads but as I looked, Kartik fell on the floor, he was rubbing his head while other hand had a bottle of alcohol. As I saw him, my tears spiled out of my already red and swollen eyes. I felt as I found my lost self. I felt relieved. He looked up at me with a different gaze. A look which he never gave me in last three years. I don't know what it was. Despair, frustration, long, love, or hate? I don't know! But that was different indeed. It appeared as if he himself didn't know how to react on looking at me. But despite of our super strange encounter, I felt home. He's my home. Now I'll not let him wander. I'll keep him safe. I'll not play those shitty mind games with him, with me, with us. I gave him my hand so that he could stand up.

But to my surprise he held the hand, and pulled me down with a jerk. I fell with a slight thud and he held my face  in place and before I could realise, before I could comprehend or even gasp, he pulled me into a very rough and Passionate kiss. It was so demanding and harsh for us. He has always been soft, poised, composed with me. We never shared such a rough and raw kiss, though whatever it felt a bit nice. But soon after, I was choking. I was out of breathe, and I bet he was too. But he kept on and on..! I freaked out and pulled his hands away, but he again gripped me hard.

Somehow I managed to retreat back and pull away. We were literally panting so hard. Kartik's eyes were red and I don't what. What's in store for me..!
Well, as I got fine, I asked him "Kartik kya hua? Ye sab kya tha..!?" My Voice Was almost a whisper. Because I didn't know how to address him at the moment..!

"Acha lagta hai na tumne mujhse ladai karna or fir dur chale jaana? Mujhe tang karna acha lagta hainaa??" He asked me instead. He had disappointment in his voice, which I must fear. What have I done to us!!!!!
Fuck! In order to distance myself away from him, I ruined us. I destroyed his faith, his love and care. I realised late right? I know. Someone please curse me.
M

y glassy eyes kept on looking and nodded a no to his question while he was...just.. DISAPPOINTED! UNSATISFIED!

"Tujhe mere sath acha nhi lagta na,, jab mai tere sath hota hu?" He again asked me and immediately these words came out of my mouth "nhi..! Kabhi nhi." I wanted to assure him that I love him. I love him dearly.
He replied "you know what I feel when I'm with you?"

"What?" I innocently asked as I could smell the alcohol in his breath.

"As if...I'm in euphoria!" He stated sternly but the next moment broke down in tears.