Soulmates

8

"Colby." I said and just stared at him. I took in every detail of his face as if it was the first time seeing him. Starting with his big blue eyes down to his plump lips. I could feel my eyes watering as he smiled slightly at me.

"Hey, V...I know I probably shouldn't have come b-" He started as I shook my head. "No, I'm glad you're here." I said then took a step closer to him, wrapping my arms around his neck.

He pulled me into him and nuzzled his face into my neck, inhaling deeply. I could feel my heart beating out of my chest as he held me tightly.

"I'm so sorry about your grandma." He said as I pulled away. "Thank you. Thanks for being here." I said then brushed my sweaty palms on my skirt. "Of course." He said then looked at Ki.

"Ki. Good to see you." He said as she squinted at him. "Mhmm." She said with the fake scowl then turned to me. "I'm gonna grab you some food, are you going to be okay?" She asked as I nodded. "Yeah, I'm gonna talk to grams for a minute." I said then looked back at the guys.

"Thanks for coming." I repeated and grabbed Corey's hand, squeezing it once before turning to the casket.

I took a few steps forwards and took her hand. "Hey, grams. I hope you're watching over me. All of my friends from LA came all the here to come and celebrate your life." I said then sniffled.

"I wish you were here to meet them. I know you'd love them. Even Colby came...ya know, the one I always told you about." I said as my eyes welled up with tears. "I wish you could meet him." I whispered then started to cry.

I felt someone walk up and put their hand on my back. I looked up to see Ki frowning at me. I let go of grams hand and stood up wrapping my arms around her. "Shhh, you're okay." She cooed and rubbed my back.

"Let's get some fresh air." She said as I nodded and pulled away. She took my hand and led me outside so we could walk around.

The sun was almost fully set which meant the stars were already shining in the sky.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know he was going to come." Ki said as I shook my head. "No. I'm glad he came." I said with a sniffle and looked up at the sky. "Are you?" She asked as I nodded.

"Yeah. I'm glad everyone came." I said then sat on a bench that was outside. "I hope I didn't overstep any boundaries or anything, I just knew they would want to be-" She started but was interrupted by my laughter. "You're fine, Ki." I said then stood up.

"I should probably get back in there." I said and held my hand out to her. "Yeah, are you gonna be okay though?" She asked as I nodded. "I'll be okay." I said then led the way inside.

As the night went on more and more people left, leaving just Sam, Kat, Ki, Corey, Jake, Cassie, Tara, Colby and I.

"Did you need some help cleaning stuff up?" Sam asked as I nodded. "Yeah, but you guys are probably exhausted." I said as I started cleaning up the photos that were set out on the table in front of me.

"Don't even start with that, we would love to help." Kat said and started packing up the food. I just smiled and looked down at what I was doing, trying to keep myself together.

The stress was starting to get to me, knowing that tomorrow was the actual funeral. I was feeling a little better knowing that my friends were here, but I also felt bad once again for just leaving them.

I thought that the guilt would go away when I realized I was doing this for myself, but it never did.

I was always afraid that everyone hated me for breaking Colby's heart then leaving. He didn't deserve that at all.

I started carrying things to the car as everyone finished packing up the stuff I needed to bring with me. I was doing okay until I got outside and realized that I didn't unlock my car and my hands were really full.

I tried to turn my keys in my fingers so that I could unlock my car, but instead everything in my arms started to fall.

"Woah! Let me help you." Colby said and grabbed the boxes in my hands before I dropped them. "Thanks." I said with a sigh then unlocked my car.

"There we go." Colby said as he put the boxes in my trunk. "Thanks for coming...I really wasn't expecting you to be here." I said quietly then looked down, picking at my nails.

"Of course I came. I want to be here for you." He said as I chewed my lip. "Why? I'm the bitch that left you." I asked as he opened his mouth to talk.

Before he could say anything Ki was coming over with more boxes. "Shit these are heavy." She said as I grabbed one from her. "Grams had a lot of pictures." I said and shrugged.

"I love it. Are you ready to go?" She asked as I closed my trunk. "Yeah, I think so." I said then turned to Colby. "I'll see you tomorrow." I said then smiled and turned towards everyone else.

"Thanks again for coming." I said to everyone as I went around, giving everyone a hug. "We love you." Kat said as I took a step back from the group. "I love you too...I-I'm sorry I left." I whispered as Sam wrapped his arms around me.

"Don't worry about it. We can't wait until you come back but take your time." Sam said as I nodded and wiped my eyes again. "Thank you. Okay...I'll see you tomorrow." I said then opened the drivers door.

Ki got in the car then waved to everyone. "You okay?" She asked as I nodded and started to drive away. "It's weird seeing everyone." I admitted as I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel.

"Did Colby say anything to you?" She asked as I shook my head. "Not really. I feel like I should talk to him at some point though." I said and ruffled my hair. "I think it'd be good for you...would you ever get back together with him though?" She asked.

"I don't know." I said quietly. It was a hard question because I didn't know who he was anymore. Granted, it was only nine months that I was gone but nine months can change so much.

I didn't even know if he wanted me anymore.

All I knew is that I didn't want to get back together with him if I was just going to hurt him again. It was already horrible enough what I did the first time.

"V?" Ki asked as I shook my head. "Sorry. I just..I still feel bad." I said quietly. "I know, nobody blames you though. Especially Colby. All he wanted was for you to be happy." She said as my eyes watered.

"I don't wanna talk about this anymore." I said as she nodded. "Okay, we don't have to talk about it. Are you hungry? I feel like you barely ate." She said as I shrugged.

"I don't have much of an appetite. I'm nervous for tomorrow." I said as I pulled into the driveway. "I know. You're gonna do amazing. I'll be right here if you need me." She said as I smiled and nodded.

"You're the best. You know that?" I asked causing her to giggle. "Of course I do." She said then got out of the car.

We unpacked the boxes from the car and brought them inside. I knew I would have to sort through them at some point but I was done for the night. I just wanted to sleep.

When we got upstairs I immediately went to go take a shower and to wash away all of the stress that today brought.

I started to think about what Ki had said about Colby only wanting me to be happy.

I didn't know if I actually got the chance to find the true happiness I was looking for. I didn't smile or laugh as much as I did when I lived in LA. I didn't feel the same either.

I constantly felt like I was being held down by a weighted blanket. I was able to vent my feelings out a little bit by writing but I don't think I was happy after moving back out here.

I shook my head, realizing that the water was now pelting me with cold water. "Shit." I mumbled then hurried up and finished my shower.

After getting ready for bed I grabbed my notebook and sat on the bed. I suddenly wasn't feeling tired as I scribbled down words that were coming to my head. Words about a boy with blue eyes coming to rescue me from the sadness I had enveloped myself in.

I didn't like that I was back to writing about Colby but he was here in the front of my mind now. There was no hiding.

I had to talk to him.