When The Cold Wind Blows

~18~

Chapter 18 - "I Really Love You, But If You Want To Leave, Just Go, Yes Go."

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ani guerae *cries*

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The dorms had quieted down ever since Jinjin left. It was still late at night and neither MJ nor Sanha could sleep at all. Rocky said he wanted to meet Ace, so he left while Bin and Eunwoo were still too stuffed with their angers that they had their rooms shut since hours.

"Should we go look for him, hyung?" Sanha's small voice hit MJ's perked up ears. He looked up to Sanha's bed as he stepped out of the bottom.

"Are you still crying?" He climbed up to Sanha.

"Sanha-ya," he called out in his soothing voice and he knew what happened next was expected. Sanha clung into his arms, curling up into a small ball even if he was taller than him, and cried his heart out.

In that moment, MJ knew he couldn't tell them about his disease. Not when this was the condition. No chance, at all.

"Why did Jinjin hyung do that?" He asked, a small hiccup escaping his lips.

MJ patted his back, slowly. "I don't know. Maybe it's a misunderstanding. Jinjin would never-"

"But both Eunu and Binnie hyung said that. They won't be lying. And Jinjin hyung only said that we were too busy to care for him. He did not clarify." Sanha pulled back from his embrace, and looked up.

"That's where I think it is a misunderstanding. Jinjin did not clarify anything. Honestly, Bin and Eunwoo are too angry to even think right now. As far as I can think, none among the three of them is wrong."

"How so?" Sanha rubbed his tears away and silenced his ringing phone, in turn, accidentally answering it without knowing.

"We'll have to find out. For now, I can't help but think that we really did neglect Jinjin. Maybe he was going through something we didn't know." MJ tensed up.

"And he didn't tell us because we were too busy to care for him, with our stupid love lives." He continued. "This all started when Hexa came, honestly. We were too good together, hyung. I regret ever knowing these girls." His tone held longing. The phone's screen went dead.

"Hexa." MJ whispered again. "You're right. We lost us while trying to win those girls. But-"

"But? We should just push them away for a while. They would understand."

"But I love Seri. A lot and I can't leave her." His eyes got teary again, thinking of a chance to loose Seri.

"I like Somin too, so much. And we aren't breaking at that. You shouldn't too. But we should just focus more on us and bringing all of us back to normal. We can do that. Both of the girls would understand, I'm sure." Sanha squeezed his shoulder.

"Now, should we go and look for him?" He asked.

"No I guess. I tried calling him though. He rejected. He'll come back, don't worry." MJ climbed back down to the bottom. "Sleep now. Good night."

Before going to sleep, all MJ had in mind was the fact that he'd have to hide the truth from all of them, to ease the things for now. He promised he'd tell them later.