Give me love

Chapter 11: Chances

Zaria's P.O.V
*you will understand the link later on in the story*
It's a boring Friday. I skipped school because I feel so sick and I've been vomiting since 9:00am. What a great day. I'm home alone for the whole night. Cameron's going to a birthday party for his friend Allen and my moms off at work till 12:00pm tomorrow. A lonely night I thought until...I heard someone knock on my door. I put my blanket around me and answered the door. "Beau!" I exclaimed. "Z!" He responded and gave me a hug. "How ya feelin' g?" He asked rubbing my shoulder. "Pretty shitty man." I said coughing. "Aww b" he said concerned. I replayed what he had said. Not g, b. He called me b. Oh my god finally I know he likes me. He called me b! "What you call me home slice?" I asked to reassure myself. "B." He responded and I went to lean on him but my head ended up on his lap. He played with my hair and kept me company all night. It was amazing. "You know I gotta tell you something real bad b." He said sounding unsure. "What's the problemo homie?" I asked. "I have feelings for you Zaria. Extremely strong feelings for you. And after these past few weeks I've really gotten to know you. And I know this is so soon but will you be my girlfriend?" He admitted and asked. I sat in shock for a moment. "Awwww beaaaaau baby yes!!" I exclaimed. We hugged and then he held my face and smiled. He kissed me. Fireworks went off all around us. I felt as if it were only beau and I that really mattered at that moment. He made me feel different. In a very good way. I told him a lot but I never told him about my depression and dyslexia. I was afraid. I finally built up some courage and told him. "Beau I have to tell you something though. Since I was 8 I was diagnosed with dyslexia and depression. I started to cut myself. I've tried to end my life but please don't worry anymore. Now that I have you I wouldn't want to live a day without you." I rushed to get it over with. He sat there in silence. Shit...I did it again. He looked down at the ground and started to tear up. He held his face in his hands and cried. I held him and kept him warm. "️shh baby it's okay." I said softly rocking him back and forth. He calmed down and looked at me. "Remember when I told you I had a broken home?" He asked. I said yes. "My mother committed suicide, in front of me. I wasn't suppose to be in that room but I was and I watched her jump for the last time. I miss her so much. I can't lose someone as important as her again. And that would be you. I'm not letting that happen." He said with tears in his eyes. I smiled in response. "Let me see your wrists." He demanded. "Why?" I asked. "Don't be stupid you know why." He responded and I turned my sleeves over and showed him all the cuts. He teared up. He backed up and took a minute to think. He started singing. *youtube clip ties in now*. Every word was true. When did you write that?" I asked. "In my heart." He responded. I smiled and hugged him and kissed his cheek. He was different. And I liked it. Although he just sang out of the random after I told him about a very dark place in my life, the lyrics meant so much to me. He had been listening the whole time, he actually cared. I was happy for once.

The week speed by and it was an hour before graduation. I had applied for one university that I was determined to get into. I was hoping for a response soon. Guelph university. The study of sea, ocean life, and so much more. All of these things fascinated me from a very young age. I really hoped to get in but I had to get ready and stop over thinking the matter. I put on my dark turquoise dress that had little gemstones all spread across the bottom. I put my hair in a said fishtail braid and walked downstairs. And just like prom mom was teary eyed and waiting at the door and Cameron was in the car with a tux on. I hugged my mom and said I loved her. "You're truly a smart girl Zaria, I know that you don't think that way because of your dyslexia but you have done extremely good in your grades this semester. Just remember I'm proud of you baby girl." She said pushing me out the door with a kiss and a hug. I smiled and winked at her. She was the most kind hearted person I know. I don't know what life would be without her. Cameron honked the horn and i jumped and walked over to the car. We arrived at the school. "Good luck z." He said smiling at me. "You too big c." I said smiling and walking in the front doors. Beau was with Zachary, maverick, and Emerson. I walked over and beau came and hugged me and then so did maverick, emerson, and Zachary. I got an over coming smell of weed. "On graduation are you honestly high at graduation, come on guys." I said disappointed. They were way too fried to listen. I walked away. Not on graduation. I found my seat and just my luck I sat directly beside chad. He was with another girl. No surprise. Glad to see he's happy, for now at least. He didn't realize I was there till after he tapped my shoulder and I looked in his direction. He smiled and I returned one as well. "Hey patience." He said with a calm tone. "Oh my name isn't patience, it's Zaria." I responded with. "Oh what a beautiful name." He said smiling and turning back around with a disgusting look on his face. I tapped his shoulder. "Hey listen we have a lot of bad memories but I really hope you can remember this one." I said slapping him as hard as I could and got up and walked away. I sat at the back of the gym. I saw beau playing around with his friends. I wish he wasn't high when that whole chad situation went down, but I guess it was just bad timing. They started calling up all the people for college letters and some opened their letters on stage. Some went off crying out of joy and some out of disappointment. Then universities were called up. About five people walked up and then. "Patience Baren" and everyone clapped and I walked up. I thanked the principals and staff. I opened my letter on stage. "Miss. Baren,
We are most thrilled to have you attended our university. Hope to see you in September." I read out loud. I started to tear up. Since I was little this is a memory I've held on to. I made my dream come true. Cameron was right up front ready to hug me. I came down covering my mouth crying. I gave him a big hug. "Good job z." He said patting my back. He was soon called up for his letter. He made it into the college he had wanted to go to since grade 9. We finally succeeded. Beau never got called up. Zachary didn't get accepted. Emerson got accepted and maverick didn't get accepted. I walked over to beau to tell him about my university and getting accepted. I went to the back of the gym where they last were. Only Emerson sat alone. "Hey Emerson where's the rest of them go?" I asked. "Out for a sesh." He said disappointed. "Aw what's wrong?" I asked sitting down. "Oh I don't know it's just the one day I felt proud of myself they're all too high to care." He said. "I don't have a mom, my dads a druggie, and my sweet little sister is long gone. She got hit by a drunk driver." He continued tearing up. "Oh my god Emerson I'm so sorry it's okay, I'm so proud of you. You are such a bright guy. You are an amazing listener and just a great friend. Don't ever think your alone. I will always be here." I said trying my best to comfort him. I hugged him tight as he cried. I rubbed his back and told him everything would be okay. I hate seeing people cry, I remember crying every single night when my dad abused my own mother. He hit me. He tore out family into pieces. Our family didn't need him but I know what it feels like to want to cry and want to miss people but you can't because all you can think about is the terrible things they did. A little later on beau and the two others walked in after Emerson had calmed down. Beau was ripped. So we're the other two. I got up and told beau i needed to talk to him. He followed me. We got in the hallway and he pressed me against a locker. He tried to come on to me. I pushed him away. "No!" I yelled. He backed up extremely unstable. He backed up against the wall and collected his thoughts. He looked at me and smiled. "What's with you?" He said smiling. "Pardon me?" I asked. "You can just make a guy fall for you so easily, you just make me feel like I have a home. Like getting high isn't what I need to do." He said. I smiled in response. "Very charming but your high beau and I just wanted to tell you....that I got accepted into my university!!" I said happily. "That's amazing babe!" He said picking me up and spinning me around in a circle. "I'm glad you'll be leaving me soon." He said dropping me and walking back to the gym. I sat completely confused on the cold hard hallway floor. I rushed back inside. I ran to beau and grabbed him. I can't lose him. "No beau, I'm staying at home, I'm driving every day to Guelph. It's only a 20 minute drive." I reassured him. He looked at me with the most serious face. "K" he snapped and turned around and walked out the door. I went back to sit with Emerson. I slouched in my chair. "Ugh I thought tonight would be the best night of my life Emerson, but it doesn't seem that way." I said looking over to him. "Hey don't feel bad, it's okay. Don't let them get to you, they're all like this when they're high. Completely bipolar." He said comforting me. "Thanks Emerson." I said smiling in return. Graduation was over. Cameron, Emerson, and I took Cameron's car back to my house. I didn't mind having Emerson over because he was a good friend and he asked if he could come because he was scared to get in a car with the three of them. We got home and I sat down on the couch and pulled up a few movies. "So what you wanna watch?" I asked. "Oh it doesn't matter." Emerson replied smiling. "Oh okay." I said picking a movie. "So how's life." He asked. "Pretty bad right now but I'm decent, how about yourself?" I asked. "I'm just very confused that's all." He responded and then turned to the tv. "Confused about what?" I asked out of curiosity. "My sexuality, I think I like guys." He confessed. "Oh well that's completely normal Emerson, it's okay to be gay." I comforted him. "Yeah I guess so thank you Zaria." He said smiling. We watched about four movies until Emerson's mom picked him up. She came inside for a bit before they left. She was so caring just like him. Once they left I texted beau "goodnight, I love you." Just incase I fell asleep. He responded with "night hoe.". I was in shock. Well then. I turned my phone off and turned my covers over. I have had enough for tonight.

•Saturday 2:00pm•

I finally got up. I had a little note beside my bed that said "so glad to hear you made it into Guelph university! Very proud of my baby girl, see you when I get home XoXXo mama bear." AWWW mama. I smiled at the note an checked my phone. One messages from beau and four from Emerson. I opened beau's first. "Can I fuck this real sexy chick? K? K. Bye bitch LMfAO!" I slammed my phone against my bed. "What the fuck!" I screamed. Cameron came running in. "What's wrong?!" He said panicking. "Beau fucked some chick last night." I said totally pissed. "That kids fucked up." Cameron said. He walked back to his room. I read Emerson's messages. "Hey nemo.", "yo z!" , "where my home slice be?" , and "my main wake it up!" I read them and giggled a little. I responded.. "Aye g I'm up I'm up (: " . I messaged beau back "so how's being high going for you, you sick bastard." I shut my phone off and started getting ready to sit around the house like usual. Beau was calling me. I answered. "Okay wait I have to explain something, I never had sex, kissed, or interacted with any other female last night. Zachary fucked with my phone when I fell asleep. I'm so so sorry you didn't deserve that. You aren't any of which he messaged you about. You're beautiful. " he panicked. He was so worried for me. I knew he felt bad. "It's okay." I responded quietly. "No it's not in coming over right now." He snapped and hung up. 15 minutes later my doorbell rang. I opened it to a complete trashed beau. He was covered in dirt, he smelt like strong liquor. His hair was all over and his clothes, were almost gone. He had pants on and that's about it. I didn't mind it that much. He had a six back no complaints. He started crying at my sight. He fell into my arms. "I'm so sorry Zaria. I'm such a fuck up." He yelled tears running down his face. I rubbed his back and cooed soft words in his ear, calming him down. "It's all okay beau, I'm not upset, it's okay." I reassured him. "I love you." He whispered. "I love you too." I returned with a smile and a kiss. I know maybe last night was unacceptable but I couldn't stand a grudge with him. He didn't mean any of it and neither was it him. I was just happy to see him safe and home.

To be continued....