Two's better than one

Chapter 6 - Babys Secrets out

(Tigger warning for suicide attempt)

"Kian what is this." My body froze with fear. Was it a dildo! (Wait I don't have one at least not yet)My sisters underwear! It could be anything. I slowly turned around to Jace holding my pacifier. Shit! My eyes darted between the two.

"Oh um it's a pacifier." I say scratching my neck.

"Ya we can se that" Orion announced.

"Well... um it's the kid I babysits?" I respond.

"You don't babysit." Orion states. Then Jace gasps I look at him worried. He is about to say something before Orion says, " do you have a kid?"

"No!" I yell trying to come up with any good reason an almost 18 year old would say when a pacifier is found in their bedroom.

"Your a little." I hear Jace say quietly. My eyes widened in fear, my secret that not even my family knew about was out. I fall to my knees and fell a panic attack set in. "Kian! Kian! It's ok hun we won't hurt you." I hear Jace say as they both wrap their arms around me. The both whispering that I'm safe and they will be here for me. They continue to say sweet nothings till I was able to calm down and slowed my breathing. "Do you want to talk about it or should we do something first?" Jace asked.

"We can talk about it." I whispered snuggling into a pillow. "What do you want to know?"

"Anything you are comfortable with telling us." Orion responds rubbing my back.

(Can skip)

"Well I have severe anxiety from before I came out. I thought mom and dad would disown me since grandpa was so into the church. Not to mention Gi all her friends and most the kids in school were very homophobic. I stayed closeted for a year till kids at school found out. This lead to many calling me different slurs. My parents didn't find out until they saw me try and down a bottle of pills. I told them about school and being gay as you can see they accepted me and we moved. I got diagnosed with anxiety and depression before the move and I take meds now but little space is my safe space. I've been little for two years ago after reading about ways to cope with my anxiety." I say after slowing my breathing.

(Continue)

"So it's a place to help your mental health?" Orion asks. Not wanting to talk anymore I just nod. I feel Jace pull me onto his lap.

"Do you have anyone looking after you little one?" Jace asked softly letting me snuggle into his warmth.

"No." I say just loud enough for him to hear me.  With how kind the boys were acting I could feel myself starting to slip into a younger mind set. I hear the two boys talk for a bit but with my mindset all I could think about is finding my stuffies that I had hid earlier. When I try to push away from Jace the two of then stop and look at me.

"Are you ok Kian?" Jace asks rubbing my back leading me to whine and shake my head. The look the two gave each other screamed 'is he in his headspace?'

"Is there something you want?" Orion asked rubbing my back. Instantly I nodded and started bouncing on Jaces lap. "Umm do you want a blanket?" I made a sour face at him and Jace chuckled. "No ok umm a toy?" I whine just wanting my stuffie already.

"Do want a stuffie?" Jace asked. I shook my head vigorously making grabby hands. Their chuckles rang through my ears before Orion got up and started looking for what I wanted. My whines were heard throughout the entire room. I wanted my stuffie. I needed it. Jace tried to calm me down while Orion looked and anyone could tell that Orion was getting frustrated with not finding it. Finally he found it and placed my stuffie in my arms. My whines quickly went away as I snuggled it.

I felt Jace's arms around my waist and Orion's hands running threw my hair as we lay on my bed. The boys watching me play awing and chuckling at my antics. While I played the boys figured out how to turn on my tv and started watching movies on my Netflix account. The one time I looked to see what they were watching and it was the only 'scary' scene. Blood was splattered all over the actor which lead me to scream and bawl my eyes out. Orion was quick to pull me into his embrace and tell Jace to but on a more child friendly movie. After yet again another movie the boys decided it was time from us to get ready for bed. Which lead to me wearing one of Orion's sweatpants and one of Jace's hoodies.

While they were changing I pulled my little space box from under my bed. I grabbed a clean pacifier and a blanket then crawled my way onto the bed. The boys made their way back to my room and tried to lay down on the floor which lead my to cry out for them. Orion laid on my right and Jace on my left, I felt warm and safe and slowly drifted off into a dream.