"She remembered who she was and the game changed"
- Lalah Delilah
(Editing)
Toni Shalifoe x oc
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"I don't mean to say what happened wasn't traumatic. Obviously, it was traumatic to end up where we did, in the middle of nowhere, completely cut off from the lives we left behind. That brings us to the real question doesn't it? What was so fucking great about the lives we left behind?
Because here's what I remember of all that. I remember not being enough. I remember wanting to be more. I remember the dark moods, the violent moods, moods that nobody had patience for. And then there was the brutal social scene Which some girls could just glide through like they belonged everywhere. And there you are just trying to belong somewhere. I remember the ridiculous expectations they had for us. Like... we were supposed to be these golden gods 24-7. I remember the responsibilities. Heavy burdens meant for adults forced on us before our time. Responsiblities that made you think... 'yeah, this is definitely fucking with my healthy development right now' and don't get me started on the impossible problem of sex. If you were terrified of it, which you had every reason to be, you'd be deemed a frigid chastity bitch. But if you were somehow unafraid like it was just naturally your thing...then god help you the world is a dangerous place for a sexually evolved girl. And on top of that there was a new feeling, this sick ugly feeling... of wanting to live and be loved back ...which never ends well.
So if we're talking about what happened out there... then yeah, there was trauma. But being a teenage girl in normal ass America... that was the living hell"
Addie's life before the dawn of eve wasn't the best to say the least. She had a mother who pushed her to be no less than perfect and to forced her to be a cheerleader and talked about them like they were some sort of Gods. All Addie really wanted to be was an artist. Art was her escape from the pressures of school and her mother. When she got forced to come out by a video being leaked at a football game her mother could barely look at her disgrace of a daughter and sent her on a retreat to try and 'straighten out her behaviour' which Addie knew really just meant straighten her out.
