Out of reasons (Boy × Boy) ✔

Chapter Fifteen

Neither of us made it to school the next day. I had a light headache, but more than that we both were dead tired. We had stayed up till the small hours and just talked about everything. By everything I mean the kind of things people talk when they're getting to know each other.

Kuisma was an only child and his parents lived nearby. His dad seemed like an opposite to mine: Kuisma made him sound like a kind and thoughtful person. His mom was an artist and worked as an art therapist. Kuisma had lived here six years and he dreamed of being a professional dancer.

I was starting to see the real Kuisma and the more I knew about him, the more I liked him. We would definitely become good friends, that much I was sure of.

I hadn't told him that much about me yet. Just that my parents were dead, without going into details like when and how it had happened, and how Copa, Paju and Lina were my family nowadays.

After we found out we both were Marvel fans, we decided to watch as many superhero movies from them as we possible could in one weekend. We ordered Chinese, which I paid for to make up for the gin I stole.

I enjoyed the time we spent together. Kuisma gave me space and didn't importune me about the things I told him the day before. He made me feel cared for even if we didn't talk about anything, and I think that was exactly what I needed. To feel like I wasn't alone. Opening up had been sort of a breakthrough for me, but it had let me feeling raw and vulnerable.

On Saturday we watched all The Avengers and Thor movies, and ate leftovers. On Sunday we managed to leave the flat, although just to go buy some groceries from the corner store.

When we were walking to the store, I found it hard to believe I had ever thought Kuisma was annoying. He was smiling and laughing when we playfully argued who was the best character from Marvel. Of course it was Loki, but Kuisma thought it was Iron Man. Fortunately we didn't have to agree on everything.

We bought groceries so that we could cook a proper meal, which I rarely did. Okay, more like never. So no noodles, bread or cereals, but pasta, oat cream, tarragon, veggies and soy bites.

"You're just like Copa, he's always lecturing me how one can't survive with just noodles, coffee and cereals", I complained when we walked out of the corner store.

"Well, he's right. Thought this is the only vegetarian food I can actually cook", Kuisma admitted with a grin.

"Luckily we can always order in." I grinned back at him.

It was a good day for both of us. So far.

Joakim was standing in the smoking area, in the school yard, and smoking with his friends. I hastened my steps and looked away when we passed them, hoping they wouldn't notice us.

I was certain we had made it, when someone seized my shoulder from behind. I briskly turned to look at the person behind me. Kuisma halted after a few steps and turned around as well. Joakim didn't have time to say a word, before Kuisma was already gripping him from his collar.

"Touch him one more time and I swear I'll beat you unrecognizable", he snarled.

"Get this rabid dog off me", Joakim frowned and tried to dash Kuisma away.

"I don't know what Daniel has been telling you, but I just want to talk with him", Joakim vouched and turned to look at me. I met his gaze briefly, but it was bringing back memories I was doing my best to forget, so I looked away.

"I told you to leave me alone, and there's no way in hell I'm going to talk with you. So I suggest you don't make this a bigger deal than it has to be", I answered, trying to sound as indifferent as I could.

"Stop twisting my words." Joakim snapped. Apparently Kuisma didn't like the fact he had raised his voice at me, because he shoved Joakim away from us. Then it was a havoc: Joakim's friends ran to us, keeping Joakim away from Kuisma and me pulling Kuisma away, the grocery bag still hanging on my shoulder.

"Stop it, he's not worth it", I pleaded as I dragged Kuisma away from the others.

Kuisma was clenching his fists and had a ferocious look in his eyes, but he let me guide him back to the dormitory and into the flat. He seemed agitated and started pacing around the flat as soon as I shut the door behind me. I had never seen Kuisma like that and it surprised me.

"Hey, it's okay", I assured him haltingly, still standing in the hallway holding the grocery bag.

"I hate that he can just walk to you like nothing happened, and that you have to go to school with him", Kuisma groaned.

I wasn't sure what worked for him, but when I was having a panic attack, I wanted to feel like I wasn't alone. I wanted someone to hug me and tell me that it was going to be okay.

With that in mind, I dropped the bag on the floor and rushed to him, wrapping my arms around him tightly. Kuisma stood glued to his spot, his muscles tensed up and breathing ragged.

"It's okay, I promise", I pacifyed him quietly, and after a while I could feel his muscles relaxing in my embrace. When I pressed my forehead on his shoulder, I knew I was getting as much comfort from him as I was trying to give him.

Kuisma's scent wasn't a mixture of lemon soap and deodorant, but something deeper: cologne, sweat and spices. It was the first time I was close enough to notice his it, but it was already giving me comfort. Actually it was stirring up other kind of feelings too, but those I was going to keep strictly to myself.

"I swear if I could mash his head on a wall just a little.." Kuisma mumbled.

"I don't want you to fight with him."

"Fine, I won't, but you should really tell someone about him", Kuisma sighed. It took a while before we pulled away from the hug, feeling awkward. For a while we couldn't meet each other's eyes.

"Um, let's just cook", Kuisma said, his cheeks and ears burning. And that's what we did. Although Kuisma did most of the cooking, while I was either assisting him or on his way.