the world should know you're mine- stefanielle

fifteen

danielle

"you're lucky i love you." she says. i stop laughing and look at her. her brown eyes widen.

"w-what what did you say?" i ask. i look her in the eyes and she freezes. did she just say she loves me. what, i i don't know. what? neither of us say a single word for what feels like forever. do i love her? i haven't really thought of it much. it's so early, but everything with her feels so right. is it love? is this the girl i love? i think, i think i do love her. the warm water of the shower continues to hit my body, making my skin red. "did you just say? i get cut off by a frantic stefanía.

"no no, well si but i didn't mean to say it i didn't. i didn't mean to. " she moves her hands a lot, like she does when she's upset or frustrated. i feel the tears form in my eyes.

"so you said it, but you didn't mean it?" her eyes soften as she sees a tear roll down my cheek.

"bambina no." she tries to comfort me but i push her hand away. i feel angry as more tears fall from my face.

"don't call me that." i tell her. her face drops as i rush out of the bathroom and grab a towel on my way. i dry off as fast as i can. i quickly get dressed and decide to go on a run. i slip on my shoes as i leave. how could she say i love you and then decide she didn't mean it? it's really dark outside, so i use my phone as a flashlight. i decide to stay in the forest area and not go on the main road. the tears fall down my face as i run. i can't believe that just happened. i think i love her, and now i thought she did too. but i guess i was wrong? was she doing it to mess with me? i don't think she would do that. i need time to clear my head. i don't know what to think. i put my hood on because my wet hair is making me cold. it's so early i'm the relationship, i didn't think what i was feeling was love. but now that i think about it, it is. ever since the moment i saw her, i felt it. it feels like i've known her for years of my life, and i'm sad that i haven't. i don't think i realized i loved her because i've never dated a girl before. but i love stefanía spampinato. i think i might have to tell her. i run for about 10 minutes before i find a place to sit down and think a little more. i sit on a rock by a lake. i can see the reflection of the sky in the lake, and i look up. as i watch the sky, i allow myself to calm down a bit more. she took me here, to this amazing place. should i tell her? or should i brush it off? i think i might have overreacted, i just needed to think. now, i might've hurt her by leaving. i never wanted that. i don't know what to do.

stefanía

i finally get up from the shower floor and make my way to the room. i put some pajamas on slowly. i sit on the bed shaking. tears haven't stopped falling since she left. i didn't mean for it to come out that way. i do love her, i love her more than i can explain. but i was scared she didn't feel the same, like it was too early. i didn't mean to say it, but i still meant it. i lay on the bed for a few minutes to try and calm down some more. eventually, i am crying way less. i then look around the house to find danielle has gone. what have i done? she will most likely be back soon, probably went on a run. but i hurt her. her face when i looked up, it was so sad. i wanted to pull her into a hug and never let go. i wanted to tell her how much i love her. but she's gone. when she comes back i have to explain everything. tears fall as i think about losing her. i decide to sit on the front porch and wait for her. i sit on the top step and wrap a blanket around me. it's kind of cold out here, and super late. as i look up to the stars all i can think about is danielle. it feels like it has been a while, longer than a run. i hope she is okay. but i think clearly she needs space. i continue to watch the stars because they give me comfort knowing danielle is close by probably watching them too. i hear a noise come from my left. startled i look over there. at first i can't really see anything, it's too dark. after a few seconds i see danielle making her way towards me, more visible as she gets closer. "danielle."