the world should know you're mine- stefanielle

thirty five

danielle

"if you are ready to be done fighting, then that's okay. i'll understand bambina. i'll miss you, but you deserve whats best. and if you're ready, then you can go. i will always love you danielle savre."

i hear my girlfriend sob into the bed. i have just started to hear her, but my body has been too weak to reply. i don't know how long i've been in this bed. but i don't want to be in it anymore. i want to live my life without the fear of peter or anyone else. i want to be with stefania until we are old and wrinkly. i want her and i want to reply to her. my heart is breaking listening to her. i try to open my mouth and say something but nothing comes out. she needs to know i'm okay. i try to do anything that will let her know i'm here.

after a few minutes of trying to open my eyes, i finally do. they feel really heavy and the lights are super bright. i finally adjust to the light and look to see stefania with her head down. she's holding my hand and sobbing into the bed. i open my mouth but no words come out. i don't know how to tell her my eyes are open. i'm awake. i don't want to stop fighting. i begin to feel extremely frustrated. why can't i just do this simple thing? i just need to use my mouth, or squeeze her hand. that's all. this is so frustrating. i just want to scream. i want to tell her i'm not done fighting, that's all. but here i am staring at my girlfriend who is sobbing. i look around the room im in. it's a simple hospital room and stefanias the only one here. i don't know what happened, but i think i'm okay. i escaped peter, i found my love. it's all going to be okay. if i could just move my damn body or say some words that would be nice though. my body aches and i feel so weak and hurt but i don't care because i'm with stefania. i'm safe here. i look down at the women i love and smile, or at least i am trying too. i know i'm gonna have to take some time to recover. i try again to say words. "i'm not done fighting." i try to say but it comes out as just air. stefania is just sitting there crying still. i feel so bad. i roll my eyes at myself. i try to enjoy the next few moments because i know after everyone knows i'm awake and i'm settled in, it will be a big train of bad news. i am going to get overwhelmed and right now i'm pretty calm. except for the fact i can't comfort my crying girlfriend. it's kind of silly actually, that i'm just staring at her crying and i can't do anything. well, she would laugh too eventually. she must have been so scared, i feel horrible. i think i collapsed in her arms. if she did that to me i probably would've died because i was so scared. i need to focus on talking. my poor girlfriend is just crying and i'm right here. "i love you." i say but it's still to quiet for her to hear. what the hell. i decide to try again.

"i'm not done fighting." i say louder this time. i watch as stefania stops crying. she slowly lifts her head up and her mouth drops when she sees me awake. her skin is pale and she has bags under her eyes. she does not look well.

"danielle?" she says with a shocked look on her face. it slowly turns into a smile and then tears are falling again. i smile at her, proud that i said it loud enough. "bambina." she cry's and hugs me. i try to lift my arms but they hurt. "oh my gosh i love you. i love you." she tells me.

"i love you." i get out in a whisper. my throat hurts. she pulls away to look at me.

"i'm not dreaming? this is real? oh my gosh!" she is so cute. her smile is so cute. she hugs me again before pulling away. she gets up and starting jumping up and down. "oh my gosh!!" she squeals. she does a little dance and wipes her tears away. "i'm so happy you're awake." she pauses and we look into each other's eyes.
"would you like some water?" she asks me. "blink twice for yes." i blink my heavy eyes twice and she smiles. "i'll call a nurse and get everyone else." she presses the nurses button and then goes on her phone. i assume she's texting barrett to tell her i'm awake. she slips her phone into her pocket right as a nurse walks in.