BABY GIRL

I'm Pregnant

It's been two days since Tarma passed away and I can't seem to think. I feel sicker by the day and it's getting harder for me to get out of bed. Satoni came by and I didn't feel like talking to him. He tried to comfort me but that didn't work out. I ran into the bathroom and threw up. My morning sickness is starting to kick in and it's worse for me now. Satoni told me that he wanted me to go to the doctor but I told him that I was fine. There was no point in going to the doctor when I knew what was wrong with me. I was waiting for the doctor to call me because we had much to discuss. I wanted to know why Tarma died and what was going to happen to her baby. She told me that she would call me this morning but it seemed like it was taking forever. I wanted answers to all the questions that were still swirling around in my head. I still felt sick and uneasy even though I threw up everything in my stomach. I sat down in bed and placed my hand on my stomach. All of this was happening at a bad time. What the hell was I going to do? How could I continue to act strong when my best friend just died? The man that I was pregnant by was engaged to be married to another woman. I was supposed to marry Satoni in four days. Everything was piling up on me and I couldn't handle it. My life was a swirling mess of emotions right now. But the good thing is that her parents were out here. They were helping arrange a funeral for her and the transportation of her body. They didn't want her buried here in California. They knew that she belonged in New York. My phone started to ring and I answered it quickly.

"Hello."

"Hello, this is Doctor Winters and I was calling you about Tarma. The cause of her death was her platelets were low. Due to this, it was hard to stop her bleeding after she gave birth. As for the baby, he was adopted into a family. Tarma was talking about adoption since she became pregnant. She met with the family when she was two months pregnant."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. There was no way that her child would go to a family that didn't know her. They didn't know anything about her and her child was the only thing that I had left to remind me of her. "Why can't I have the baby? I can take care of him and he should be with people who knew her personally."

"I understand what you're trying to do, Athena. But it was her wish. Before she passed away, she made sure that I understood that. I can't stop the adoption process that she started with this family. She has also signed paperwork. This would be a legal matter on your own."

I closed my eyes tight, "thank you. I understand," I whispered ending the call. It broke my heart to know that she had adoption set up this whole time. But I couldn't blame her for her decision either. She knew that Calvino would never be a good father and she wanted to give her baby a good chance in life. I set my phone down and sighed. Maybe that was the best option for me. I knew that Vain wouldn't be a part of this child's life. He wouldn't want it given his new circumstance. Maybe adoption was the best option for me too. I could give this child to a family that would love it. It would never know about the mafia or suffer the way that I have. I didn't want to be selfish but adoption wasn't selfish. It was confusing for me and hard to think about. With everything that I had going on, now I was thinking about giving my baby away. What the hell was going on with me? I walked downstairs slowly because I needed to get something to eat. Sitting in my room and starving wasn't going to get me anywhere. A loud knock sounded at my door and I froze. Who could that be? I wasn't expecting anyone today so it was weird. I pulled open the door and standing in front of me was Vain. I stepped away from him as he walked into my house. What the hell was he doing here? He was the last person that I was expecting. I placed my hand on my stomach and gulped. Him being here was not good.