~Hanako-Kun x reader One shots~

Pendulum (Hanako-Kun x Depressed! and Suicidal! reader)

This was a request from  @AnimeNewbie246. I hope you like it, I haven't written any angst in a while, let alone publish any in forever!

M/n=Mystery Name

Warning: There are going to be heavy scenes talking about depression as well as suicidal thoughts AND actions. I do not condone this behavior in any way! The actions proceeding with this warning are not something to be repeated or taken to heart.  If you are struggling with any of the following (depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, etc) please contact someone you can trust (I will always try to be available if you want to talk as well). Other than that, I hope you enjoy it.

Rumors. They weren't always true. Most times they hurt people and cause them to think or do irrational things. But sometimes, if you take a chance, they turn out to be real, and sometimes, they can change your life for the better.

My life, in all consideration, was like a pendulum. It oscillated back and forth, from extreme highs and extreme lows. Most of the time when I get comfortable with something, someone comes along and plucks my strings, sending me in another loop.

Hanako was like my savior, some hero who fell out of the sky to freed me from this constant cycle of regret and pain. His simple words were like honey that I couldn't get enough of. His smiles were the medicine I never knew I needed.

Hanako meant everything to me, and today was the day I was finally going to tell him. The thought of rejection was already lingering in my mind, but I tried to remain positive as I walked over to the girl's bathroom.

As soon as I entered the bathroom, the sound of laughter could be heard. The ghostly figure of Hanako was standing next to Yashiro, a friend whom I met a few months ago. They were standing next to each other, giggling over a picture of some sort. I felt a soft poke in my heart. It was noticeable but not something I focused on.

Hanako turned to meet my gaze. He made his way towards me, the soft click of his shoes hitting the floor rang in the air. "Y/n-San! There you are, how are you feeling today?"

"I'm doing pretty well today, Hanako-Kun," I replied. "Hi, Yashiro!" I grinned genuinely, something I have been doing more often. The daikon looked up from the spot she was cleaning and greeted me with a small smile.

Hanako's arms wrapped around my waist, bringing me to his chest. Even though he has done this every day, the proximity between us made my face feel warm. The first few days of our friendship, he promised that he would always hug me at least once a day so that I never forgot I was loved.

"Hanako-Kun, I kinda need to talk to you. Can we step outside for a second?" His lips curled into a soft frown.

"Is something wrong, Y/n? Are you sure you're okay?" He inquired. I nodded my head and gently led him towards the exit of the bathroom. This was it, it took me a year to bottle up enough courage for this moment and it was best not to waste it. I took a deep breath and locked eyes with Hanako.

"I know this might be a bit sudden, but I-I love you, Hanako-Kun and I wanted to thank you for everything you have done for me." Soon after the sentence left my mouth, I knew I had made the wrong decision.

"I'm sorry, Y/n-San but I love Yashiro." He replied bluntly. Hanako's smile turned into a slight smirk, his eyes glimmering in the light. All of the hope and courage that I took so long to build shattered into a million pieces on the ground. Even though I had prepared for rejection, I never imagined it would hurt like this. Despite all of the hurt I have felt during the years, nothing quite felt like this. It was like being poisoned; The world I knew was spinning and whirling, my breath came out short and labored.