Baby

1

December 1, 1989

Walking into her Santa Monica Home, she was emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted. She loved touring but it was the first tour she's been on since she got sober. It's been three years and in that three years, she's recorded The Other Side of the Mirror and she was happy and in a good place. But she wasn't happy. The year had started out with her friends wanting her to go to a psychiatrist to keep herself off the cocaine and she did. But he tried to prescribe her something and she got a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach so she ran quickly. 

But what she wasn't happy about, was the fact that she had just turned forty and when she turned forty she gained a little bit of weight. Which is a sign of Menopause and it hit her in full force. She was still getting her period and she probably had a while to go until she became menopausal but everything came full force. The ticking of her biological clock became audible...very loud and very audible. And the memories of what could've been plagued her. The sad reality of the fact that she could have four children now but she chose not to and it hurts. A lot. 

It didn't help that while she was on tour there were so many little kids that she saw at her show. Even bringing one little girl up on stage with her one night. And while Stevie held her something started stirring within her. And when she went shopping the following day she stumbled upon an antique store and she found a little porcelain baby doll with brown hair and brown eyes and she bought it. It then became attached to her. She named it Hannah and she carried it around with her everywhere, her new assistant Karen side-eyeing her. 

She'd hold it like a baby, cradle it like a baby, talk to it like it was a real person and Karen was literally scared for her Boss' sanity. Just at the airport, she fooled the press with the doll until she slid it through X-Ray. And as she went upstairs and set the little baby in the middle of her giant king bed, she thought about it. She really seriously thought about it. 

If she were to have a child it would have to have both mom and dad. But the only person, unless prince charming just waltzed into her life right that second, she could see herself having a baby with was Lindsey. But they haven't spoken to each other since his unfortunate departure from the band in 1987. Billy and Rick were okay guitar players but they just weren't Lindsey and if she thought really hard she could still feel his hands around her neck and the hood ornament of his car digging into her spine. But despite all of that, despite the pain they caused each other she still loved him and as she peered down at the porcelain doll she gasped and quickly dialed the phone. 

She had hoped he didn't change his number and when his voice came on the line she beamed, "Lindsey, Hi it's Stevie." 

"Stevie, it's been a while...how are you, what's the purpose of this call?" He questions.

"Would you please come to my house?" She asks picking at the hem of her white blouse. 

"Why, what's wrong?" He asks.

"Nothing I just want to talk to you and I'd rather do it face to face. I've missed you and I want to apologize for how we ended things in 87." Stevie explains. 

"I'm sorry about that too...I can come over now if you want. I'm not doing anything. And I've missed you too." Lindsey shrugs. 

"Yes please!" She says giddily.

***

The only reason, Lindsey agreed to this is because when he took leave of the band, though he did it in an awful way, it allowed him to get some of that closure that he needed to have but didn't get when he and Stevie broke up a decade prior, but the closure conclusion he came too was that he missed her. He still loved her and he probably would still love her until the day he died...and now she was sober and he could tell she was sober so that's why he jumped at the offer to go over there. 

Stevie was writing in her journal when she heard the gate buzz and she gasped in delight before running down the stairs to let him in. Karen had gone back to her condo so Stevie was alone and while she should've been more careful she was just way too giddy to hold off on letting him in. 

She opened the door for him and they just stood there looking at each other for a minute before Stevie launched herself into his arms. He wasn't expecting it at first but he eventually gave in and wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her tightly. 

"What did you want to talk to me about?" Lindsey asks.

"Come on in. Come sit down." She lets him in and leads him to the living room. 

"How are you?" He questions plopping on the couch. 

"Sober. Sober as a judge and I'm healthy and I'm in a good place...but I'm not really happy." She looks down at her hands.

"How come, why aren't you happy?" 

"I'm not happy because...well because I want a baby Lindsey," She looks at him and he about chokes on his spit.

"What?" He questions.

"I want to have a baby with you." She states bluntly. 

"Stevie, we're..." He starts.

"No, not like that...I want to adopt a baby with you. I know we aren't back to the sex stage yet and we might not be for a very long time, so making a baby together is out of the picture, but I want to adopt a baby and I want to do it with you. I can't see myself having a child with anyone else and I really want a baby." She explains.

"Stevie that's a lot to think about...a lot of pressure." Lindsey shakes his head.

"Please Lindsey...are you seeing someone, if you are I understand and I'll go ahead and do this by myself but I just need you to do this with me." She begs.

"No, I'm not seeing anyone...but it's still a lot of pressure and a lot to think about." Lindsey shakes his head.

"Please Lindsey. Please think about it. Please." She gives him the saddest look with her puppy dog eyes and it was always the look he could never say no to.

"I'll tell you what Steph...I'm not saying yes, and I'm not saying no. Will you let me think about it for a little while?" Lindsey questions holding her hands.

"Yes." She nods. 

"Alright, that's all I'm asking." Lindsey smiles.

"Would you like to stay for dinner?" Stevie inquires.

"Sure. I'll stay for dinner." He chuckles lightly.