from me to you | binjin & riri one shots

10. Let You Go. (RiRi)

my first piece of writing since the confirmation— as you can see, I am still in shock.

prompt; dooly parting ways at the DMZ before Jeong Hyeok goes to SK. Warning: get your tissues ready for the angst!

One longs to go home, if not in this life then perhaps in another. For Yoon Seri, as she makes her way through the tall trees, attached like a child to the stoic soldier next to her, it is the complete opposite.

With every step she takes, her heart clenches. A feeling of nausea stirs inside her, it was like someone was constantly kicking her in the gut. There is regret, shame, grief and sorrow to match with every movement of her booted feet against the thick North Korean soil; a path she will not be walking on from twenty minutes from now. Her eyes steal a glance at her loverʼs emotionless face. She had always known he was not the type of person who was open about his feelings but it still hurt that he was not even trying to show any trace of feelings.

Darkness envelops them, slowly but gradually. The crisp sound of leaves crunching under the soles of their shoes is the only noise that rings through the air except for the blood rushing through their ears. She knows he has been misguiding them through the forest just to prolong their time together; she knows he wants to say a million things to her by the death grip he has on her hand, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles ever so often as if reassuring himself that she was still, very much so, right next to him.

As the skies turn a bright red before sunset and finally tone done to much bluer hues, Seri has had enough of this longing.

She stopped in her tracks, urging Jeong Hyeok to look back at her in confusion.

He does not let go of her hand, though.

Was he really expecting her to leave just like that? After all that happened between them? The stone glances, the cheeky kisses, the bickering, the notion of falling in love for the first time— how could she ever forget the one man who was her reason to live when she had thought of (TW) killing herself?

She had even told him that she loved him, did that mean nothing?

Seri waits and waits for him to tug on her arm, to urge them to move forward. She can see the DMZ from here, it is not even that far and that is exactly what scares her. The second she stepped foot past that line, he was not going to be there with her anymore.

“Ri Jeong Hyeok-ssi,” she sniffles, refusing to look up to him. She can feel his taut body getting closer and closer to her shivering frame. These hideous oversized clothes she had worn during her stay here were something she would have discarded without a second look, but because Jeong Hyeok had bought it for her, the sentiment value had jumped mountains; perhaps that is why, combined with his warm body enveloping his, she doesn't feel the cold North Korean winds attacking her fragile body.

“You know I have feelings for you.” with her heart galloping, she risked a glance at him. Craning her neck to meet his dark eyes which reflected the last bits of sunlight, she reaches for his face, tracing her fingers over his high cheekbones, his straight nose, the scar above his right eyebrow and then, the supple skin of his chapped lips as if she were memorizing every inch of him, a memory she would take with her.

Jeong Hyeok remains silent. His fingers tease the fabric pooled at her waist, ever so often rolling the material between his fingers to feel her.

“I- I love you.” a cry escapes her lips before she can stop herself. “I love you, Jeong Hyeok! How can you expect me to-” the rest of the sentence dies on her lips. Seri can not find the courage to even voice out a life that does not include him next to her.