TWISTED 2| Sequel| MYG| 18+

22.

[Hana POV]

I sighed as I seeped the content that laid harmlessly on my hand. Dozens of memories, scents, and laughter came slapping me hard on my face.

That picture.

That we took on BTS anniversary. The day Suga gave me the BTS jacket and IU told me it's a good sign. That now, I'm a part of the gang.

"So, I want to make a toast."

"For family."

"Do you still trust me?"

"I've got you. I'll never let you go."

It's fascinating how a picture brings back so many memories in less than a mere second. How you experience the emotions as if it was a moment ago.

So, that's what Jungkook was doing with Minjoon's luggage. Apparently, Minjoon got attached to some of the toys so Jin packed them for him. And when I was about to leave, Jungkook started mingling with the luggage, pretending to scan it. He must have sneaked the picture in while doing that. What is he trying to do? Make me miss them? Was he thinking that I might get emotional and come back? Hell no. Never!

Suga is not the guy I loved. He has changed a lot. He has become just like his father. Heartless and ruthless. But I don't want to be like Yuna. Hell, I was just one breath away from becoming like her. Leaving the child alone with the asshole father. I can't believe I did that.

I would never forgive myself and would never let Minjoon know that his mother was so selfish for a moment. How could I do that? I'm losing my mind once again. Just like when I was having Minjoon. The horror I experienced when I found out what my so-called 'holding onto Suga' did to Minjoon, the complications my baby had to bear, the risks I had to face, the fear of losing him or maybe leaving him alone in this world. I vividly remember all of that. I felt that yesterday as well.

I'm never going back to that house. Not even if Suga is dying, again.

“You…you almost died.”

“Who cares?”

Oh my God.

At that time, he had people who cared about his life, Jungkook and me. Plus, the gang members. But now? He does have the gang but not me.

Do I seriously not care if he dies?

No. I do.

"Why did you not die that day?"

"You would never get your family."

"Do you see my perspective now?"

"I would never get my family."

I shouldn't leave him like that. That doesn't make me any different from Yuna. She left him with his twisted father and I left him with his twisted mental health. Maybe, just maybe, I should've listened to him. Maybe, he really needed someone to understand him, just for once.

How could I do this? I was once in his place too. People didn't understand me either. They didn't want to listen to me and just forced their opinions on me. I was losing my mind and all it took was one person who made me feel like my words were getting ear, who made me believe it is okay to not be okay, who talked me out of that. My psychiatrist.

Suga also needs a person who would understand him, who would take his hand and pull him out of the dark, after all, darkness doesn't kill darkness, the light does. Instead of being that person, I left him. Where is my humanity going? Why didn't I stay to save him like I did that night, outside the club? Everything was exactly like that day. He was close to death. I had two choices. The only difference was, he didn't ask for help that day, not even through his eyes but today, he begged for help. Verbally. The way he held my hand the last time and pleaded with me with his glossy eyes. How did I not notice? The Suga who doesn't express emotions easily, was legit begging me in front of everyone. It must have taken everything inside of him to let his image crumble down in front of the members.