TWISTED 2| Sequel| MYG| 18+

03.

If it was Jimin then the note definitely came from BTS. It can't be a coincidence that some other gang sent me a note and the other day one of the BTS members showed up. And if it was Jimin it means I can meet Momo. But he wouldn't talk to me of course, he hates me.

The whole night I contemplated telling this to Kim or Rose. But I just couldn't. They live in another city; they will get worried for no reason. Or is it something to be worried about? I don't know. Suddenly, I just don't know anything. I am numb, sometimes I'm glad that Suga is gone- anyone in their right state of mind would think the same. But the other moment I get gloomy because he is no longer with me- anyone in love would think the same. For once I was in peace when I was in America, but ever since I landed here, I'm becoming bipolar again.

Ever since Suga left us, I just couldn't stay in Daegu. Living in Korea meant I had to stay close to Kim and Rose. And of course, Yura, she would come to check up on us- more likely me- and start her stupid lectures on how we are survivors and fighters and blah blah. And there was not much difference in Seoul and Daegu. All the roads, alleyways, clubs, restaurants, grocery stores, etc. reminded me of Suga. My mental health was gradually going down which was not good for the baby. And that bitch Yura was adding into it, constantly trying to convince me to get rid of the baby. So, I decided to move back to America.

To be honest, I had such a firm belief on BTS's power, that they would never be caught even after I told Yura their address, that when I heard about them being caught and dead, I kind of lost my trust from everything. Suga, the great Suga, was caught by a mere woman?

Nonetheless, I was happy that I was free again, after the therapy sessions when I realized how much of a prison one's life is with Suga. You don't have a life of your own. U don't get a say in any matter. You cannot even say proper goodbyes to the people u love, to the person you were talking to a moment ago. I remember how IU would suddenly walk out with Jungkook without even saying a word as if he was some kind of god and if she would not listen to what he told her, she would have to face the consequences. She would just walk out suddenly ignoring me as if I was not there in the first place, how can u not acknowledge someone's presence in just a second? That too of the person whom u were talking to a second ago? I remember how I used to say long goodbyes to my friends in America when it was time to leave. Those goodbyes were a whole session themselves.

Life with Suga doesn't even include any socializing. Okay, I get it, they don't want their precious girls meeting people out there. But why can't they just let us stay in touch with our friends, like Kim? If not that, then why can't they let us be friends with the gang member's girls? I remember how IU was all alone when I came, how she would get excited to meet me as if she has not seen a single face other than Jungkook's in years. How she was getting close to Momo when Jimin let her go and she could do nothing to stay with her friend, even after knowing that she would be left alone after Momo is gone. Just like Momo, how she could do nothing for me, she couldn't even stay in the same gang as me. If Jungkook said he loved IU then can't he do this little for her? Can't he let his girl's friend stay?

Life with Suga was so dry and lonely, not ignoring the fact about how dangerous it was and how it kept becoming more and more dangerous with time. And how can I forget about how manipulative Suga was. I remember how my moods and feelings would change for him and matters related to him in a moment, changing suddenly from anger to love, how I want to run away from him a moment, and the very next moment I want to make love with him. How hard he made it for me to know my feelings for him, if I hate him and would leave him any moment or if I love him and would stick with him forever. I was in a constant war with myself within.

I was eternally grateful to Yura, who took me out of that living hell mess. If not for her I would keep on letting Suga hurt innocent people with the thought in my head that he is right. I can only imagine how free those people would've felt after the fall of BTS. I cannot believe how Suga made people live in slavery of fear in an independent state. How mischievously manipulative he was.