Open Door Critiques [CLOSED]

📜 Old Critiques | 02/05/2021

[FULLY OPEN DOOR] by KaraCarreira:
• Be sure to first read 🚪 First Impressions and 🚪 First Fifty Pages!
• Too much of a 'Tangled' retelling may deter reader interest
• Firm grasp of grammar and of overall flow and pacing. Well done!
• Lots of potential, especially within the culture of the setting. 

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FIRST SENTENCE

Does your 1st sentence hook and intrigue by using any of the following:
• states something odd or out of place
• implies something bad is going to happen
• getting your readers to ask a question (why, how, is that true?)
• simply writing something beautiful

And this is what you have:

"Although the little girl knew the first words of her favourite story off by heart, they never failed to captivate her."

It's quite a lovely sentence! As this is a Rapunzel retelling, it's also a nice touch to open the work with something that harkens to stories and tales. It's whimsical, and is a clean sentence. Regardless, I would still challenge you to write up several different first sentences, just to play around with seeing what you can do in meeting any of the bullet points!