Open Door Critiques [CLOSED]

📜 Old Critiques | 01/22/2021

[NEARLY FULLY OPEN] for Docdrills:
• Some neat concepts: a literal knowledge addict!
• Good grasp of personalities, as exhibited through the blog posts and character interactions
• Slight 'weight' distribution problems. Readers may lose interest in the play-by-play style

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DENSE EQUALS IMPORTANT, RIGHT?

In your form, you reveal that you prefer heavy descriptions and purple prose (which is perfectly valid), so going along with your stylistic preferences, let's take a look at two famous authors, one known for their 'denseness,' and the other for their 'purple prose.'

Here's the opening paragraphs from J.R.R. Tolkien's The Fellowship of the Ring:

When Mr. Bilbo Baggins of Bag End announced that he would shortly be celebrating his eleventy-first birthday with a party of special magnificence, there was much talk and excitement in Hobbiton.

Bilbo was very rich and very peculiar, and had been the wonder of the Shire for sixty years, ever since his remarkable disappearance and unexpected return. The riches he had brought  back from his travels had now become a local legend, and it was popularly believed, whatever the old folk might say, that the Hill at Bag End was full of tunnels stuffed with treasure. [...]