To the Smelly Boy Apartment It Is! (Story 2 of Sev & M)

Chapter 3

The trip to Severine's house had emotionally exhausted him. When they got home he told Marcus he wanted to go lay down, Marcus had nodded and stayed in the living room knowing he needed to be alone for a bit. About a half hour after he had gone to lay down he had heard the familiar sounds of a nightmare starting. He walked back to Severine's room quietly and climbed into bed with him. He had stopped trying to wake him up from the nightmares some time ago, finding it easier to stop them just by being near him. He felt him relax against him, he grabbed a volume of manga off his nightstand and started reading it. Severine woke up about an hour later. He kept reading, giving him time to wake up.

"Do you want to go on a breakfast date tomorrow? I don't go into work until evening," Severine asked, a hopeful tone in his voice.

Marcus hesitated for a moment, putting the book down, he did want to but he had thought about going to Cas's grave. After seeing Severine have his closure with his father, he had realized he needed to stop putting off his closure with Cas. Severine noticed him hesitate.

"Or not, we don't have to," he told him, sounding a little sad.

"No I want to," he started, "I...I had just been thinking about going to Cas's grave. I haven't been at all since...since he's been gone." he finished quietly.

"Oh, that's right, you should do that," Severine told him.

"I'll do it a different time," he said, "I ruined the last date because I was sick. I don't want to ruin this one too."

"You didn't ruin the last date. You're going," Severine said sternly.

He sighed, Severine could be stubborn when he wanted to be and he could hear in the tone of his voice this was one of those times. There would be no point arguing.

"Do you want to go alone?" Severine asked gently.

"No," he said quickly, "No I really don't." The thought made him shake. "Come with me?"

Severine gave him a hug, "Of course."

**********************************

They pulled into the small parking lot of the cemetery, there were no other cars there. Now that he was actually here he felt anxious, he shut the car off and reached for the door handle but stopped. He looked at his hand and realized it was shaking, he took a deep breath to try and steady himself.

"M," Severine said quietly.

"I'm okay," he said automatically.

He felt Severine's hand rub his back.

"M," Severine said again, "you don't have to be okay. You know that."

He took another deep breath and nodded, "Let's go."

The walk from the car to the grave site was about ten minutes. The gravestones towards the front of the cemetery were old, some dating back as far as the late 1700s. Cas had been buried towards the back where the newer graves were placed. Once they reached his plot he was glad to see someone had brought flowers. He had thought about bringing some but hadn't wanted to explain to the florist why he wanted to buy them, they always seemed to ask.

He stopped in front of the grave and stared at the headstone for a couple of minutes. He wasn't sure what to do or say now that he was here. He felt Severine lace his fingers through his, leaning against his side, and squeezing his hand encouragingly. He glanced down at him lovingly then looked back to Cas's grave. The little bit of encouragement Severine had given him opened a dam within his mind. He silently spoke to Cas as if they had gotten to meet that day so many weeks ago, he told him everything that had been going on and apologized for not being able to be there for him more. His regret for not being able to stop what had happened. He wasn't sure how long he spoke before he had finally gotten everything out. He turned to Severine to tell him he was ready to leave then back to Cas's headstone again.

"Oh and one final thing Cas. You probably wouldn't believe it but I'm finally truly happy," he said smiling and turning back to Severine.