Lost Soul (Book #1)

12|Awake

Anastasia POV:

My throat felt dry. My eyes were having trouble adjusting to the light. I am met with Adrian's glassy grey eyes. Behind him stood Alexei and held a soft gaze. That is a sight I thought I'd never see.

"Oh god you're awake, I missed you so much," Adrian whispered as he ran his hand through my hair. I was confused. How long had I been out? My head was pounding, and my throat was dry.

"Water please" I croaked out and Alexei immediately grabbed me a glass of water. As he was going to hand it to me, I tried to lift my arm but I felt extremely weak. Once Alexei realized he brought the glass of water to my lips. The water felt so refreshing as I drank it. "Thanks" I whispered to him and averted my gaze to Adrian talking over the phone.

The doctor made his appearance he checked my vitals and asked yes or no questions. He told me that he had to run some tests to make sure that I was fine. My body was feeling weak because I had been in a coma for a month, plus prior my body was shutting down. I knew what had caused it there was only one thing. That meant that the doctor saw and told Adrik. At this point, I wanted to just break down and cry.

The rest of my brothers came rushing in the door, except Adrik that just caused my anxiety to rise. He would want to send me back, I come with a lot of baggage that he did not sign up for. I assumed that no of my brothers knew because they were all acting pretty normal.

The room was filled with chatter, but I had tuned it all out because my mind was running amok. Then I heard an authoritative voice that told all my brothers to leave the room. This is it I thought. He came and sat on the bed, I closed my eyes not to make eye contact. I couldn't bear to see the look in his eyes maybe it was, disgust I don't know and I didn't want to find out. I felt his large hand on mine it was like he was coaxing me into opening my eyes and looking at him.

"Ana open your eyes please and look at me," He said very gently, my body betrayed my mind and did exactly as he said.

"You need to tell me baby who did that to you please?" He pleaded with me and I just shook my head. He told me the consequences if I ever opened my mouth. I reminded myself that he was always watching and he has proven that to me over and over again.

"Do you know everything" My voice barely came above a whisper. Tears started to form around my eyes. I took his silence as my answer. I never wanted anyone to find out.

"Who did it? I need to make him pay, he took everything away from you Ana. The doctor told me that when you are older and decide you want a child it won't be possible for you." Now we were both crying, I've never imagined seeing him cry. I was devasted he took everything away from me. I am young children aren't even something I am thinking about, but I would have liked to have the choice when I was older. At this point, I was hugging Adrik.

"I don't know his name, but he is always watching," I told him and that made him go stiff.

"Was it him who gave you all those scars?"

"Some not all. Can we do this later I am tired?" I closed my eyes wanting to process everything.

"Yes, I'll tell your brothers that you need to rest." He walked out of the room and I saw the octopus plush and a small smile broke out. I cuddled it and let the tears fall freely. I kept replaying our conversation. He wasn't mad at me, and I was relieved.

This was a reminder that no matter where he was he would always hold power over me. I was tainted by him. I had reminders of what he did to me. I wanted to tell Adrik everything, I was tired of holding onto everything, but would he understand. Would he think of me as a monster after he finds out what I did, and worst of all I felt nothing when I did it.

I couldn't have a fresh start if I still held on to all my secrets, but then they would see the real me. The ugly parts of myself.

~

It was the next day, the doctor told me that I could get discharged soon, but all the tests would have to come out good. He told me that if I went home that I would have to take it easy until I regained my physical strength. That meant a lot of bed rest.

Adrian and Andrey were discussing my birthday which was in about 4 days. I didn't want to celebrate it, but they insisted otherwise. Being around them made me forget my problems.

"Honestly the theme should be to commemorate from ages 1-17 because we missed all of those," Andrey suggested, he had been suggesting different themes but Adrian shot all of them down. I shook my head because that sounded like a big party and that was the last thing I wanted. Plus it sounded like a mess.

"Andrey shut up, your ideas are the worst." Adrian threw a piece of his chip at him and Andrey rolled his eyes. "You both are haters, I won't give my brilliant ideas out anymore." That made me laugh he was acting childish.

"Adrik is getting your discharge papers ready. What did you guys talk about yesterday he came out with his eyes all red." Andrey asked. My breathing hitched at the thought of that, but I quickly recovered and just shook my head. He gave me a suspicious look and let it go. Adrian handed me a pair of black sweats and a cream-colored hoodie telling me to go change. He helped me stand up and lead me into the restroom to change.

When I came out Adrik was there talking to my brothers and he was next to a wheelchair. He was being extra I did not need to be wheeled out of the hospital. I sent him a glare and crossing my arms.

"Ana please don't put up a fight and come sit down." Adrik motioned me and stood firm and shook my head.

"Look at my little sister being a rebel. I think that the coma changed you." Andrey joked which earned a smack in the head by Adrian.

"Please Adrik I just want to feel normal." I send him my best puppy dog eyes and he sighed and have into me. Wow, that easy. "But you have to walk with me for support." I nodded.

We had made it into the SUV and I was sitting in the back with Andrey. The car ride was boring so I fell asleep.

I was back home. Hopefully, things would start getting better. I was going to tell Adrik everything.

-unedited
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