To Show a Blind Person the Sight of the World Without Using Your Voice

Chapter 7: Communication is Key

Makoto Tachibana

Being able to talk with someone about all sorts of things, it makes me happier than anything.

Haruka's presence is enough to make me feel good, much less down than I have been feeling for the past couple of years; he makes me feel like myself again. Even though I know I should be worried about Haruka's situation with his foster parents, I'm kind of glad he could stay longer than expected.

I've taken it upon myself to make Haruka feel better too, because I know he barely slept last night. I think he didn't know I woke up somewhere around midnight, but I could hear his strained breathing almost as if he was trying not to burst out in tears.

It hurt me a lot for some reason, like I somehow felt Haruka's pain in that exact moment. But by the time I woke up this morning and was able to greet Haruka with a bright smile, I started feeling very glad that mom is going to let him stay until he can go back to his home.

And now, that we're sitting on my bed together with a cup of hot cocoa milk and snacks, I can't shut up anymore; I feel like I have to tell him all about hobbies, and trips, and amazing food and I have to tell him funny stories that are sure to make him laugh.

"Okay, so one time," I tell Haruka, with a slight smile on my face. "my parents tried getting me a dog, and well, it failed miserably!"

I still remember that day like yesterday; they thought a guide dog would work better for me, because I was going to go to middle school. I couldn't keep running into people when not paying good attention to my cane, so instead they brought me to this place where we could get a guide dog.

"So, I got to the place where I'd have a practice round with each dog." I chuckle. "I got so scared the second a huge dog's nose touched my hand, I ran away as fast as I possibly could; we never considered taking a dog ever again."

I like the think that Haruka's at least smiling a little, even when I can't hear his laugh; deep inside I know that Haruka busy thinking about his family. I would be too if my parents said I couldn't go home after running away.

"You know," I mumble, because I know I'm being selfish trying to make this moment all about myself. "I wish you could tell me how you felt, with your situation and all." I pause, reaching out my hand and laying it on Haruka's lap. "That way I can actually be there for you."

Haruka swallows audibly before softly knocking onto the wood of my bed; he agrees with me at least.

I close my eyes briefly, thinking deeply about a way to communicate in a clear way. No matter how great Ren and Ran's code was, we can't hold a conversation like that and there's no way I can actually help Haruka through the sounds of knocking and clapping.

That's when my phone zooms, vibrating against the blankets on my bed.

Immediately an idea pops up inside my head; what if I let Haruka type on my phone? It has a out loud reading function, so that way Haruka will be able to communicate with me like he usually does through writing in a notebook.

I grab my phone and press it into Haruka's hands saying, "Here! You can use this to write down what you want to say."

He starts typing, I hear the sound of typing with every letter he touches.

"Once you've finished, just give it some time," I say. "It should start reading by itself."

Just like I said, the calm robotic voice starts reading the message Haruka wrote me out loud. "Thank you, Makoto. I really like being able to just keep a conversation so much better."

I smile, because I'm thinking exactly the same.

Of course, it's a little awkward that I'll be remembering Haruka as the guy who talked to me in a robotic voice, but it's much better than him only being able to talk to me through knocks and claps. And now I can actually expect an answer when I ask, "So, how are you doing? Under the circumstances and all?"

"I'm alright," the robotic voice reads. "But a little worried."

I feel myself tensing up, because even when I expected him to be worried about not being able to go home, it's weird to hear it in words.

"I can understand that, yeah," I reply. "Do you want to talk about it? About what happened?"

There's a long silence, but Haruka eventually tells me that he would like to, but maybe not via the phone; it's very uncomfortable for him to hear a voice that sounds nothing like his own.

I chuckle before asking, "So, how do you sound? Maybe I can image it."

"It's kind of hard to tell," the robotic voice says at a slow but steady pace. "But I used to have a higher pre-puberty voice and pretty shy."

I smile at the thought of that, though that probably also means he hasn't talked since before his voice normally should've dropped. Even he doesn't know what his own voice sounds like now, just like I don't remember what I look like even when I might've seen myself in a mirror when I was one or two years old. We're the same, but in a totally different way, this is probably why I felt this very strong connection with Haruka right from the start.

"I can imagine your having a voice like that," I mumble, before jumping off my bed.

I want to hear Haruka with that voice, whenever he speaks to me through writing, I want to be able to imagine him talking to me in that high-pitched and kind of shy voice.

This is why I have to get out the thing I didn't plan on giving him; my own slate and stylus for writing Braille. That's what I started with, writing Braille by hand only, so if I could do it when I was eight and Ren and Ran can do it, Haruka should be able to write in Braille too.

"So, okay," I say, wandering back to my bed with the slate, stylus, some paper and a cheat sheet, which I used for teaching it to Ren and Ran. "It's not the quickest way, but it's the same as writing."

Haruka takes it from me and I can practically feel him staring at it in terror; it must be intimidating for him, it's probably like learning to write a whole different language to him.

"I'll show you how everything works, so don't worry," I tell him while sitting down on top my blankets, with my legs tucked up to my chest. "You have the slate, that is that plastic thingy with all the holes. You can click that open on the side and fold it open to put in the paper."

Haruka appears to be doing what I say, although he struggles; the paper is made to exactly fit into the slate so if it's put in a little crooked he may not be able to close it well enough.

"Now, make sure you hear a click when you close it," I tell him, listening for the click myself. "If you don't close it well enough the paper will slide around."

After he's done that, I give him the cheat sheet and ask, "Well, what happened before you turned up at my porch?" I pause. "Or is there something else you want to talk about first?"

There's a long silence, but I'm sure he's slowly figuring out how writing Braille works; he eventually gives me a piece of paper with the Braille beautifully bulging out on the back and his message reads, "Thank you. I kind of ran away from my foster parents, they don't want me back. I messed up."

I nod and now I understand why he feels so bad; something must've happened before he ran away and now he feels like his foster parents may not want him back in their house.

"You know what?" I ask, reaching out to Haruka's hand and tangling my fingers around his. "I'm sure they want you back, because you're their foster son."

I don't know much about the whole foster parents thing, but I do know that even if they aren't Haruka's biological nor permanent family they probably care about Haruka's well-being too.

"And even if they are bad people that don't want a great person like you back." I pause, knowing that what I'm going to say next probably should be taken with a grain of salt, yet deep in my heart I'm extremely serious about it. "You can always stay with me, because that's what friends are for."