a cottage secret

mother's tears

Betty woke up feeling as if the world belonged to her and Florence, and only them. There was nothing quite like it.

Although she never imagined herself leaving that place and saw herself taking care of the little cottage forever – even if it wasn't her dream – she now started to believe there was a different path for her. Maybe she could study and be something bigger than what was chosen for her. Maybe she could choose.

She got out of bed in a jump. Oliver was startled, but went back to sleep instantly. "My fat baby", Betty said while kissing his little furry head. He opened one of his eyes but didn't bother to greet her as lovingly.

She ran down the stairs to the kitchen to have some food in and then go to Florence's place. They had agreed on seeing each other the day before. Actually, they were supposed to have spent the night together, but Betty's parents had other plans.

The girl's mother and father were acting strangely. When preparing dinner, the woman wouldn't even look her daughter in the days. There was something different going on and Betty could feel it. But she wasn't bothered; as long as she could see Florence that day, she didn't care about anything at all.

Breakfast was blueberry pancakes with hot coffee, spiced with cinnamon – just how she liked it. Everything about that day seemed too bright: the sun was shining on the crops, birds were singing beautifully and the house smelled like her favorite food.

"Good morning, Ma. How did you sleep?", she asked.

"I kept tossing and turning, couldn't sleep that well", her mom answered. "How about you, sweetheart?"

"I slept wonderfully. I'm so happy! Everything's so beautiful today!"

"I'm glad you're happy, Elizabeth."

The girl knew something was off. Her mother looked at her funny, as if she wasn't used to seeing her kid that excited or hearing her be so loud. Furthermore, she had just called her 'Elizabeth'. She was always 'sweetheart' or just old simple Betty.

"Is something wrong, mom? Did something happen while you're away?"

"No." Her eyes were wet. Betty had never seen her cry; her mom would always excuse herself first and go outside, behind the house, to sob her sadness away. "Nothing."

The young girl didn't know what to do with all that was happening right before her. It didn't fit the expectations she had for the day. The sun was laying yellow rays everywhere outside, but the house seemed so incredibly grey. The air felt heavy. Suddenly, the blueberry pancakes didn't look quite as delicious and all lost its joy.

But, since she never saw her mother like that, she assumed it'd be better to simply ignore what was happening. She was sure the woman would thank her for doing so, even if not verbally. So she took a deep breath to calm her spirits and took a sip of her coffee. It had gotten a bit cold, but it still did the job.

She hadn't lost hope in the day. It could still be good, even though she felt like something was weighing her down, almost prohibiting her of leaving the house.

Betty's father had woken up before them and was outside chopping some wood for the old fireplace. It was an extremely hot day, so it didn't make any sense. However, the girl just shrugged her shoulders. Her father was an eccentric man; she was sure it was nothing.

The silence was impossible to bear. The teenager wished the cat was awake, doing some mess in her room, bringing a rat inside and making everyone scream so the greyness would disappear. But Oliver was happy tangling himself on her blanket.

Swiftly, her mom stood up and sat down again. There were tears in the woman's eyes. The girl couldn't ignore it anymore.

"Mom! Can you please tell me what's going on?"

"I..." Betty's mom took an apple from the table and bit it strongly. She needed something in her mouth to stop her from speaking.

"Mom!" The girl was desperate. She was afraid it had something to do with her – or worse, with Florence.

Maybe her parents had understood everything and would forbid her from ever leaving the house until the city girl was at Barbara's farm. They could do that. They could just lock her room. Or one of them could stay inside at all times, watching her every move.

She'd go crazy if that was true. Florence would leave in a few weeks and to not be able to see her, to not be able to touch her and love her as hardly as she could until she took flight... it was plain cruelty.

"We heard from some of the neighbors... that you're strangely close to Barbara's granddaughter."

She was right. Her nightmare would become true.

It seemed like the sun had stopped shining its light on that piece of land and Betty felt cold. Her fingers started to shiver and she had absolutely no control of her body parts. It felt like crashing down. It felt like her heart was breaking in tiny million pieces before anyone had even had the opportunity to chop it.

"Yes." She confirmed it. There was no point in lying, no point in hiding. Even if she tried to, she wouldn't be able to keep it going. Her love for Florence would shine through her skin pores, the way her cheeks would turn red, the way her hands would shake and her hair would go up.

"But not as friends, isn't it?" Her mother's hands were also shaking.

"No."

"How close are you?" The woman's voice was failing her. But for some reason, Betty felt stronger and stronger as the words fell out of her mouth. Confirming what she felt made the entire world stop moving around the sun and she felt all her story touch her lips like honey. She was ready to talk about it, even if her mother wouldn't handle it.

"Like the ground and the trees' roots." She waited a few seconds for her mother to switch her eyes from her own fingers to her daughter's eyes. She waited a bit to take a breath, to get ready for the next words. She felt tingly inside, just thinking about them. "Like girlfriend and girlfriend."

"Oh, sweetie..."

"I don't want your approval, if that's what you're about to talk about. I love her, if that's what you're wondering."

The girl's mom walked around the table and put her hands on her kid's shoulders. Suddenly, she realized how her baby girl had grown. She was even taller than the woman had ever been. Her hair was as wild as nature itself – impossible to tame, like her mom used to do when she was a kid.

Betty was a woman now.

All the mother could do was put her arms around that girl and promise her she'd love to get to know her, her own daughter, all over again. She felt like, at some point, she had lost her way as a mother and let the redheaded girl grow too soon, too fast. She felt like, maybe, if she had paid more attention to the signs, she would've known; or better yet, the girl would have just told her all that was inside her heart.

"I'm so sorry I lost your coming of age", she sobbed. "If I had been more attentive, I'd have seen it coming. I really wanted to see you grow capable of such a godly love, and I lost it!"

Betty wasn't expecting it. Her mother's grip was strong and she could feel her tears go down her back. Slowly, she put her hands on the woman's back and placed her head in the space between her neck and her left shoulder. All at once, she also started to cry.

She was so scared she'd lose both Florence and her mother when her love was out in the open. But the sun was still shining, the birds were still singing and the flowers were still growing. Her heart was free to be true.