a cottage secret

the language of love

The girls stayed there, in the middle of the unknown woods, and had the meal Florence's grandmother had planned for them. They opened the bottle of white wine and drank from glasses made of plastic. They kissed each other at every sip and bite.

They knew they had to use the little time they had to enjoy each other the most they could. They should lock lips and hold hands as much as it was timely possible.

They put the grapes and chocolate pieces in each other's mouths and shared the tartes as lovers in mythological stories would. They felt mythological themselves, sitting in that mysterious place all to themselves. There was no one even remotely close to them and the only voices besides theirs was the wind, that would play with Florence's dress and Betty's hair.

They felt magical.

Even if both their hearts were breaking at that second. Even if in a few days everything would end. What mattered is that it had a beginning and a development before that. What mattered was that exact moment where they couldn't do anything about the lack of time.

"It's a pity we took so long to start our relationship", the city girl said.

Betty laughed. She remembered how timid and afraid she was before even exchanging words with that beautiful girl that had just arrived in that abandoned but beautiful piece of land. Maybe if she had had the courage then, they could've had more days, hours and seconds together.

"Maybe we both needed time", she finally said. She didn't regret any of it. She was a different person then and it was important that she had her own process of getting the courage to meet her now girlfriend.

She felt like the beginning of summer had been decades ago. If the girl she used to be looked at her, she would have been proud. She had never been out that much in her early teenage years and she should've taken advantage of that youth, and at that moment she was precisely doing that.

Betty started to look at Florence until she was left pink due to shyness. Their eyes were locked and their lips, sealed. The city girl started to laugh quietly, but the redheaded girl was serious. She had one and only thing in her mind: that great love she felt for the other girl.

And Florence knew that. She knew what was going on in her lover's mind because it was the exact same thing that was happening in hers.

Even though they didn't use words, they knew what they had was extraordinary. A myth to be told by the creatures of the forest, an undying love that could nurture the earth and the living creatures around.

"I'm so grateful for you", Betty said.

Florence's hands were shaking. Her body was cold and but filled with the warmest feelings. A tear fell down of her face. She smiled. She opened her mouth to speak but her girlfriend interrupted her.

"Let me just say this", the redheaded girl said. Her heart was beating fast. She was so nervous, it felt like the whole earth was beating along with it. A single drop of sweat fell from her forehead. "I believe I knew you were the one who was supposed to be my first love from the moment you got out of that black car." She paused. "I don't know how, but something pulled me to you." Florence let more tears fall from her eyes and smiled to her girlfriend. "I truly believe we are meant to be. If not forever, for now. And I'll take it. I'll take anything with you. You made me a better person, a version of me I didn't know was buried inside, under all the anxiety and fear that I had. You taught me how to be brave, you taught me how to love." Florence dried her tears with her delicate fingers and Betty held her hand in front of her face to kiss it. "And that's because you're the most incredible, courageous woman I know. You inspire me, Florence. I know who I want to be now because of you."

They stared at each other, waiting for someone to break the silence. Betty's chest was finally lightweight. She had been carrying those loving words for too long and she needed to share them before it was too late; now, she didn't have that worry anymore.

"Are you done?", Florence asked, smiling. The redheaded girl nodded. "Well, I want to say some things too. First, I can't believe I inspire you. I think of myself as the most lost soul in the world. I've never made any decision without regretting it or with the right reasons. I've longed so much to be far away from my family, I'll have to let go of my home. You've become my home, Betty. I don't know how to say it in a better way. I've never felt more myself than when we're together. And this sucks. Everything sucks. The fact that I'll leave sucks. But, at the same time, it's the absolute best thing that has ever happened in my life. You're the best person I know. And I wish you could see yourself through my eyes."

She stopped. She hated every single word she had said because they were not enough, and they were never going to be enough. She wasn't well versed in the language of verbal love, but she knew she wanted Betty to know how important and special she was. So she took her hands and kissed them for a long time, and let her tears fall on her rosy palms.

"I'm sorry. There are just... no words", she finished her train of thought.

Betty nodded. She knew what her girlfriend meant, anyhow. They had changed each other's lives forever, and they were always going to love each other – even if that love had to change and adapt over time. It was forever going to be part of them.