Chapter fourteen: Long nights

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Every night since the first I've been having these nightmares. Different variations of the same thing.
It's always Jane and it's always my wings.
She ends up burning them or cutting them or ripping them to shreds.
Either way I'm left bleeding and lifeless before I wake up panting and tired as if I'd only slept for 5 minutes.
You would think that after being tortured in a dream for hours, I would at least feel somewhat rested when I woke up. But noooo Jane still manages to take things from me even after I'd been rescued.
The only good thing stemming from these nightmares is the great appreciation I have for the team.
Every night I'm reminded of what they'd done for me. I try my best to make myself useful by making breakfast or lunch for them and cleaning up where ever I can.
I started to train an hour earlier than any of my training sessions with Nat and Steve.
I'm trying to be better for them.

I got up this morning and started making chocolate chip waffles for breakfast, Thor really seemed to like them with an excessive amount of syrup.
"You are a master of these Waffles Y/N," Thor says with his mouth full.
"Close you mouth while you eat," Steve tells him.
He goes back to scarfing down the rest of his waffles.
"Y/N.." Thor wipes the syrup from around his mouth.
"You haven't gone to see Loki in a while."
Everyone stays awkwardly silent.
Thor convinced Tony that it was ok for me to see him after a couple hours of pestering. I guess Thor didn't want him to spend a lot of time alone.
"Maybe you should bring him some of these magnificent uhhh waffles as you call them." He smiles innocently at me.
I look at Tony for permission and he bobs reluctantly.
"Maybe I will take him some... let me just clean this up a bit-"
"No no," Peper speaks up. I'd had met her recently and I like her a lot she is very nice and tries to spend as much time with my as she can when the team goes out on a mission. But sadly she does have to travel for work. She is leaving again today to meet with some business executives in Tokyo.
"I'll clean up here. You've been doing so much all weak." She takes the dirty pan out of my hand turning on the water to wash dishes. "Go take those waffles to Loki before they cold," she whispers to me with a suggestive smile on her face.
I just told my eyes. She thinks I like him or something.
I grab a bottle of sparkling grapefruit water which I find pretty disgusting but it's the only one we have left, and 3 waffles on a plate with syrup on the side.

I don't know if he even likes human food but it can't hurt to give him some.
I take the elevator down to his floor and put in the code.

As I walk in and notice Loki pacing quickly instead of his usual relaxed position in bed reading or catching a ball like usual when I had visited him before.
"I don't want to talk anymore Thor just leave me be." He says aggressively mistaking me for Thor, "oh it's you."
I suddenly feel really nervous but keep going, "I brought you some food. I don't know if you like it but umm yea." I slip the food to him on a tray through a sliding door Tony installed a couple weeks ago.

"Asgardians don't need to eat." He says in a dry tone. He obviously not in the mood.

Why does Thor eat so much if he doesn't neeed food?

"Thor enjoys indulging himself with the disgusting food you midgaurdians eat. I haven't the single idea why but why does my brother do anything for that matter." He turns giving me a sarcastic smile.
I don't give him the satisfaction of the response he wants.
"Well I'll leave it here anyway if you want to try it."
Kill em with kindness I guess 🤷🏽‍♀️
"I don't want it." He whispers through his teeth sitting as far as he can from me not even looking at me.
I let out an audible sigh but let him marinate with his feelings and start to leave. I notice him turn slightly to look in my direction but instead going back to his original position.

"I'll come back later Loki."
I leave a little disappointed. I don't know what I expected. Why would he want to see me.

You deserve this.

*A couple hours later*

The team went to see Fury who had requested to meet with them immediately.
I trained for a while practicing my fighting with the punching bag. After practicing for about an hour or so I got hungry and went to the kitchen.
"Miss Y/N there is not much food would you like me to order you some pizza?" Jarvis asked.

I was hungry but something didn't feel right so I decided I wasn't going to eat.

"No thank you Jarvis."
I drank some water and started watching TV.
I couldn't focus on what I was watching, I just kept going over my conversation, or lack there of, with Loki earlier.

Why wasn't he happier to see me?

What am I even thinking. This is ridiculous, he is a god, a criminal for a matter of fact. I don't matter to him.

Your worthless.

Her voice rang in my head.
You know what I'll just go see him. Check if he's ok. Yeaaa that's a good idea because he was in SUCH a good mood earlier 🙄

A.N: Things are about to get a little ínstense ohhhh shiettt.
My bad if some things auto correct to Spanish haha I have the double keyboard.
Hope you enjoyed xoxo -A

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