Savior

Chapter fifteen: Betrayed

TW: SELF HARM. I'll let you know when to stop reading.

I head down quickly to Loki's floor before I change my mind.

Right as I'm putting the code in and the door slides open Loki throws a chair at the glass breaking the chair into pieces.

Is he ok? Well obviously fucking not, ok people don't through chairs.

"Loki," I say quietly trying to get his attention.
He turns around quickly and looks at me with hate in his eyes.

"Oh now you've decided to show up." He growls running his hands through his raven hair. His skin was flushed a sweet shade of pink.

"What's wrong?" I ask but he yells in response, "You're what's wrong!"

I flinch back hard.

He doesn't back down.
"You don't care about me! You only come to mock me, to laugh at me!" He yells.
Fear bubbles up in my stomach. His eyes were glossy but it went unnoticed because of the familiar anxiousness growing in my throat.
"See..." he turns around, "you are afraid of me you liar!"
He created a clone of himself in front of me, " your just like every other worthless creature on this planet."
I step back afraid but not wanting to prove him right.
"You're just saying that..." he interrupts me.
"No. Get this through your head. I. Don't. Want. You. Here!"
"No stop it-"
"LEAVE!"
He pushed me so hard that I go flying. I pull my wings out to try and catch myself before I hit the wall but I was too late.
I crashed into it and felt a sharp pain in my right wing. I fell on the ground along with some pieces of the wall that hit my in the face leaving me with a couple bruises and a cut above my eyebrow.

I look back up and see Loki breathing heavily. He looked sad. Embarrassed.

I couldn't think with the pain I was feeling behind me.
I caught my breath and got up. His projected was gone and he was back in his cage staring at me.

My wings.

Only was the only one who had seen my wings since I'd got here.

I quickly left the room not looking back.

"Are you ok Miss Y/N?" Jarvis asked, "would you like me to call Mr.Stark?"

"No! I'm alright"

I walked back up to my room and picked up some new clothes. I went to the bathroom and took a shower to wash off any dirt and sweat from earlier as well as the blood from the cut on my eyebrow.

After dressing myself I put some lotion on my arms and legs before taking out my wings.
A couple feathers were furrowed out of place but there was a part of my skin close to my back that was bleeding.
The hit must have opened up a cut.

You deserve this.

I try and ignore the voice and clean off my wing but it's so loud. It's sounded like her voice but quickly turned into my own.

Your disgusting.

Look at yourself, your worthless.

Your so fucking ugly how could anyone love you?

I couldn't help myself. I started crying uncontrollably. So much that the tears burned my eyes.
Why can't I just be happy?
I couldn't feel the pain in my wings anymore but just the aching pain in my chest.
I can't do this.

You deserve to be punished.

TRIGGER WARNING DO NOT READ PAST HERE.

I know. I respond to myself.
I picked up my shaving razor and slammed it on the counter breaking out the blades.

I pick up one of the blades a drag it over my left wrist. Once. Twice. Three times. Until it felt like enough.
My breathing slowed down so ran my arm under cold water and watched in disappointment as the water ran red then clear again.

I walk back to my room suddenly overcome with exhaustion and lay in bed. I fell asleep almost instantly. No nightmares.

A.N: This character is an example of so many people in my life including some feelings of my own. Please know that things do get better. You deserving of happiness and love. Eat and drink and treat your body with love. And reach out to get help if you need it because I want you here.
Suicide hotline: 1-800-273-8255