Savior

Chapter sixteen: Forgive me

I woke up still feeling shitty. I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth.
The consistency of the toothpaste disgusted me so I half assed brushing my teeth.
While I put my hair up into a ponytail I saw my wrist.

Shit.

It was sooo red and obvious I had hurt myself.

I'm such an idiot.

I washed my wrist under warm water to get any dry blood off, it stung but felt alright, before I took a bandage from under the cabinet and wrapped my wrist with it.

Hopefully no one would notice.

I change into a sweatshirt then head into the kitchen where everyone was already up and having conversations.

"Hey kid how'd you sleep." Tony asked pouring himself some coffee.

"Great," I say sarcastically.

I grab some eggs and sausage out of the fridge and throw them in the pan together. I grab a potato a quickly chop it up into small cubes and mix it into the pan.

While that got crispy I take some strawberries and a banana and slice it up. I put some vanilla, sugar, and ice as well as the fruits and add it into the blender.

I check the pan and it's all done. I serve it into a plate and turn around to turn off the blender. I like my smoothies thicker than most.
I pour it into a tall glass and go sit on the island.
Not gonna lie it tasted pretty good. I took a couple more bites then Clint shouts from the couch,
"Ohhh looks like someone is hungry."

I turn around to smile awkwardly at him. I take a couple more bites but as I go and take a sip of the smoothie I feel myself loose my appetite.

You don't derserve this food you worthless brat.

Janes voice rang through my head.
She's right. Since I've gotten here they had let me eat so much that even I noticed I'd gained a couple pounds.
I take two more bites of the eggs as to not be obvious but then quickly throw the rest out. I take the smoothie with me to my room on the way out.
I laid down on my bed reading a book for a while before I heard someone knock at the door.
"Come in!"
It was Thor.
"Y/N I wanted to ask you if your alright." He said with a concerned look on his face.
I'm not but I didn't want to worry him so I say, "yeah why what's up?"
"Well I spoke to Loki this morning-" I roll my eyes. I'm still annoyed at our interaction yesterday. I know I pushed it but his response was a little dramatic.
"He said he wanted to see you."
"What?" I say confused.
"He asked that I tell you he has requested you downstairs."
I chuckle at his choice of words.
"He summoned me. Like some servant of his." The last part I say under my breath.

Thor places his large hand over my small one and grips it softy.

"I know my brother can be difficult but I'm the only thing he has. I ask that you give him a chance."
I felt bad. He obviously cares so much about Loki. He is right, I'd seen so much pain in Loki's eyes before, I just need to grow a thicker skin. Everyone deserves a second chance.
"I'll go see him later Thor." I tell him and his face changed into a wide smile immediately getting up.
"thank you Y/N," he starts walking out and before he closes the door he peaks his head through to ask, "also I wanted to ask, what happened to your arm?" He points to my wrist.

There that goes for no one noticing.

"Oh I hurt it training yesterday," I lie he seemed satisfied with that so he left and gently shut the door.

I have to do better with hiding this. These sleeves are too short.

I walk into Steve's room and get a sweatshirt from his closet. This was more than big enough to cover my arms fully.

I go back to my room to grab my book and my smoothie.

I take the elevator down to Loki's floor and stand in from office the metal doors.
I don't know if I'm ready to see him yet but I have to give him a chance like Thor said.

Beep beep beep beep

I walk in and see Loki sat against the far most wall from the door of his cage reading a book.

"Your back." He says not looking up from his book.

"Unfortunately yes." He chuckles at my tone.

"I thought you'd never come back but I guess you do still like me." He smirks looking up at me.

"I don't know how you got to that conclusion but no I don't like you."
He gets up and walks up to me but I keep walking along side the cage to the other side of the room and sit down against the railing.
"What are you doing?" He asks

"Reading."

"Reading." He repeats

"Mmhm"

"So now you just come to read and not admire me."
Ignore him and keep my eyes on the book not actually reading it but he doesn't need to know that.

"Y/N"

"What Loki?" I ask still keeping my eyes on the page.

"Look at me."

I sigh and slowly raise my eyes to meet his glowing blue ones. A faint blush covers my cheeks.
He laughs to himself.
"Do I make you nervous?"

"No," I say back immediately not wanting to entertain him.

"I find that hard to believe love."

Love???!?!?!?!!!
The blush got sooo much worse.

"Tell me something Y/N..."
"What"
"You've been on the same page for the last... what 7 minutes? And you haven't taken a sip of whatever that beverage is. Why is that?" He asks confidently not breaking eye contact with me.

"Uhh," I clear my throat "I'm just not hungry, any more questions from my fans?"

"I don't know. You usually eat a bountiful breakfast from Thor has told me-"
"So you ask about me," I interrupt him and say failing to hide my satisfaction.

"You can say that." He says softly.

I didn't find a response to that. I just try and get back to reading.

I can't focus he's literally starting into my soul.

I get through a couple chapters glancing at him a few times to find that he is still looking at me calmly with no expression in particular.

His hair looked a little messier then usual. He still looks amazing tho. Maybe just maybeeee I should stop thinking this shit. He can probably read my mind.

I glance back up at him and he had his head leaned back with his eyes shut. Taking a breath of release I read the rest of my chapter then look at the smoothie I'd brought with me reaching out to pick it up.

Do I really need this? I need to lose some weight anyway.

I pull my hand back away deciding not to drink it. Glancing back up at Loki to check if he still had his eyes closed but no he was looking at me again with a confused look on his face.

He probably did read my mind. Yeaaa I'm done.

I get up and brush absolutely nothing off my pants. I pick up my stuff and walk towards the door.

"Y/N," Loki calls out behind me and I turn me head to face him as he stands close to where I am now.
"I'm sorry... for yesterday. I truly am."
I don't answer I just turn around and start walking back to the door again.
"Y/N," he says more hesitantly this time, "they are beautiful you know."
He's talking about my wings.
I turn around fully to face him and say, " lying is a sin you know."

He smirks and responds, "and being the all powerful god I am. I'll forgive myself for that one. It was worth it."

Smiling softly I walk out, the doors close behind me.