Left Behind (Erwin Smith X Reader)

Chapter 11

And so more time had passed. Levi had taken Erwin to discuss what he saw happen with Eren and eventually I was stuck in a room with Hanji, Levi, Miche, and Erwin discussing what we should do about him. Until they kicked me out of the room. Fun. Why did that happen? I have no clue. So being nosey, I leaned against the cold door to Erwin's office. It was uncomfortable feeling the jagged wood poke into my skin. But seriously, I don't understand why I was kicked out. Like I was only trying to keep things light. I guess joking about some kid coming out of a titan steaming wasn't appropriate. Or joking about Levi's height. Or saying to Hanji and Miche that the reason Erwin was late was because he was taking a shit. Which may I add is what Levi says when Erwin is late.

I overheard part of the conversation. Mostly because of Hanji's screech of excitement.

"LEVI GETS TO KICK HIM IN THE FACE? I WONDER IF HE WILL TRANSFORM! OH MAN THIS IS SO EXCITING." 

I sighed in desperation. Mostly wanting to be in the room but somewhat due to just wanting to be around people. Alive people. People who won't just run off and go get themselves killed. Those who will stay around for more than a few hours and stay up late nights with you talking about the old times in the underground or reminiscing about their old training days. Those nights felt like heaven every time. One night it was just Levi and I, even though the short male calls me names I know he has a soft spot for me. We just stayed in silence mostly until he talked about life in the underground. See when Erwin went to "retrive" Levi I was stuck behind doing paperwork for another squad of mine that had just been killed in a previous expedition. Well not exactly killed, 3 to be exact were killled and the other, feeling guilty for his participation in it, commited suicide the next morning.

Thats one thing I always wanted to as Levi, how he manages to keep a squad alive. As well as Erwin. I don't have the balls or time to argue and I sure as well dont have the good way with words both males do. Do I have the skill to protect a group of 4 people? Sure, maybe. But why should I if they seem so indespensible. If they wanna live they should try to think for themselves. Or maybe I should establish that? Ugh I dont know anymore. I leaned my head against the door softly enough not to make a thud. Soon enough the door would open but not only would I have to go back inside to answer a few questions from the commnader but also feel the tension of a plan he was obviously hiding from me. I folded my arms and felt the tightness of my wound from earlier. 
"Fuck" I whispered under my breath. I should have definitely gotten it cleaned up but its ok, the worse thing that could happen is a crusty scar. Soon I felt myself become unbalanced as the door opened. Quickly standing up my feet spun around to the entrane of the room and the res of my body followed.

"What the hell were you doing you shit?" Levi hit me with his insults again as he was coming out of the room. Miche and Hanji not far behind him. 

"Waiting for your short ass to leave" A snarky remark left my lips as I put my hands on my hips. 

He tched "Is that all you are ever going to pick on, Frizz head?" I patted down my hair "It isnt even that frizzy thank you very much." 

He just became quiet and walked past me, Hanji giving me a light smile and Miche a little snort at the conversation between Levi and I earlier. Now all that was left was the Commander. In his office, sitting at his desk, going through paperwork. So I let my boots hit the floor with loud thuds as I walked further into the office, closing the heavy door behind me. I felt my heart race with anticipation and my hands turn clamy.

Right now he was probably going to question me on every little thing I did today. Maybe not question, more like ask and try to find a solution. His blonde head looked up and greeted me a smile.

"Take a seat"

I pulled the chair a little further from his desk from where it was originally situated and lower myself onto it with shaking knees. I stared silently.

"So you know why you are in my office correct?" His voice went stern and serious. I was about to get another lecture or speech.

"No sir" Innocently the answer came out of my mouth. He huffed and continued on with his now monolouge it seemed he would speak.

"I brought you in due to your habit of losing your squad members so quickly" He sat himself straight upwards at his desk. "And since this seems to be happening so frequently I have to think about what we are going to do with you. From what it seems the soldiers that are placed on your squad are supposed to be capable men and women. So I keep asking myself whats the problem. I don't want to say It is you, I know its not, you are a capable women with a lot of strength and ability. But we cannot keep losing scouts like this under your hand. I talked to that one Garrison soldier earlier and she claimed that you never put your foot down. So using what they said we are going to try something out." 

A loud gulping noise escaped from my throat. A lot of words just came out of his mouth that don't sound very good.

"You will not have an assigned squad anymore. For now you are going to be my second in command. You will learn how to lead. I mean this in the nicest way possible but if we are going to find anything out about the titans or take back land I'm going to need you to know how to lead a squad. Its the best thing for the future of the regiment." I stared at him dumbfounded. Why would I be second in command if I cant lead?

My eyes got big as I realized what I said in my head was said out loud. 

"Well (Y/N) thats for you to figure out." I gave him another blank stare as he dismmised me. 

I got up wanting to leave. This was definitely not the smart Erwin I knew. This one decided to give me second in command. "Erwin are you doing this as a learning oppurtunity for me or a do your bidding for you?"

I realized at that time I was already out his office and the door shut behind me. "Goddamnit Smith"

So I traveled down the dimly lit hallway of the HQ to find my own bed and throw myself into it. Thinking of the meaning of that conversation. 

If he is trying to get me to do his bidding does that mean he would order me into the mouth of a titan? And if so is this his way of trying to get rid of me?

(Authors Note):Hi yessss sorry for the somewhat sloppy toppy chapter. I am finally going to try to get back to updating this story now that we have the offical ending to AOT. This may or may have changed the ending to my own story but I am happy with it. Thank you so much for the support on this story!