Not Afraid {completed}

arguing and making up

...

Over the next few months, Pennywise did absolutely everything possible to make Y/N happy and to not shame her anymore. Especially, after the Halloween situation.

He had only eaten animal flesh, sat correctly at the table, didn't bite anyone annoying, or even scare little kids in public. He went out in more proper garb, opting from disguising himself as the little boy to a more mature woman. Not knowing the more he morphed, the more energy he drained.

Y/N scolded him a few times for his recent behavior, not wanting him to change himself to please her. There had been a few arguements like this, about him trying to be 'good' and her trying to get him to be himself.

They argued more increasingly. About any and everything, his upcoming sleep, his changing behavior, her neediness, her recent weed smoking. Y/N secretly buying little gifts for him to remember her, picture frames, jewelry, little plushies. Everything she could to prolong his rest, make his time with her as much fun as she could. Her falling in love with a small banded gold bracelet with the word 'Penny' on it.

After one long and frustrating arguement, Y/N gathered her friend and they went to a theater, inviting Deja along, them needing a break. Y/N needing her there as support, begging him to go as himself, regardless of the consequences. She wanted him to be himself.

During the movie, Y/N and Deja watched unaware that Pennywise was having a very rough time.

...

Pennywise slumped in the seat and furiously scratched the back of his head until it felt almost like a rug burn. His nose burned, his head ached, his throat felt insanely tight and dry but he didn't want to tell Y/N that.

Y/N eyed Pennywise, "Penn, you okay? You look really uncomfortable."

Pennywise's cheeks were starting to flush as his face was getting hot, "What are you talking about?"

Y/N looked at his cheeks, "Hey uh... are you feeling alright?" She said coming closer to the clown. Pennywise leaned back a little, "Yes. I am."

Y/N's hand reached towards his forehead.

"I told you I was fine!" He said a little too aggressively, swatting Y/N's hand away.

Y/N looked a little hurt, "I'm sorry. I just worry about you... Sorry." She shoved the hand that got slapped away in her pocket and went back to the movie.

Obviously, Penn felt guilty. He should apologize but he just didn't have the strength to. The clown rushed to the bathroom with whatever stamina he had. As he walked through the doors, he saw himself in the mirror and he looked awful.

He knew exactly what was happening.

"I knew it." Pennywise turned around and saw Y/N at the door. At his back, he heard Y/N's voice, the woman in question soon appearing.

"Is everything okay Penn? Are you al--" She silenced at his new developments, recognizing the shock and horror on his friend's face as she turned around. Mental gears were switched.

"...'m sorry..." Penn averted his eyes. "S-sorry for... slapping your... hand away..." he rubbed his burning eyes, the colors changing from blue to gold and back again,

"Sorry, for not telling you about me not feeling well. 'M so-"

"Hey hey, it's fine. I'm not mad." Y/N stepped over to her friend, "Why would you try to hide the fact that you're not feeling good?"

"I-" Pennywise hurled forward and fell to the ground. He scrambled for the toilet bowl and grabbed the sides. He felt circles rub on his back as he dry heaved once again.