The Love I Leave Behind

Dear Serkan

After awhile of just sitting on the floor I notice that all of our memories were scattered everywhere, I couldn't let our memories get ruined. I wipe my tears and go to pick everything up when I notice a sheet of paper folded on the floor. I got to pick it up and see that it is our original contract that we had made up. I couldn't believe that she kept it all this time, this once again proved that she was too good for me. I fold it up once again and put it in the box. 

I looked around the room it seemed that everything fell in different directions. I go around the room and pick everything up, when everything seemed to be picked up I go to close the box when I notice something white underneath the guitar stand. I go to pick it up. It's thick envelope with my name on it with Eda's handwriting on it. I rip it open and five different papers fall out of it. I open the first paper and it was a star certificate that was located right next to the one I had bought her....it was named after me. I couldn't believe it, I open the other papers and they were star certificates named after anne, dad,and......and my brother. 

She named stars after my whole family and they were right next to her and Sirius. The tears fell once again for the pain that I had caused to her and she gave stars to the people who hurt her the most. I reach for the last paper and see Eda's handwriting and know that it's a letter like she wrote for everyone else. I sit back down on the couch and start to read the letter.

" Serkan there are so many things that I want to say to you, but I don't think that they would mean anything to you. I wasn't going to write you a letter because I knew that it wouldn't hold any meaning to you but I decided that I needed to write this letter for me. 

You are the love of my life , my soulmate and that will never change. But for you that has changed, you have chosen a new love and will live a life together and I really do wish the best for you. Despite what you have been told Serkan I did not come after you will the intention of stealing your holding from you, I only came to you as the flower girl Eda Yildiz and nothing more. And you took me as I was, without knowing I was the heir to a billion dollar jewelry company and for that I will be forever grateful. 

You told me once that we wait  a million years for a star to being be born, with you next to me Serkan you helped me become the Yildiz I know that my mother and father would be proud of. My father promised me when I was younger that he would take me to the stars. Thank you Serkan for keeping my father's promise to me I will forever be grateful. The memories that we made together will forever be with me, but that's where they end. They will just be memories for me and nothing more, and in the future when I have kids of my own I will tell them the story of Apollo. So that they know that love is not something that you wait for, it is something that you run after, and keep a tight hold on so that it won't go anywhere. We couldn't hold onto our love Serkan and it got away from us. 

If you ever regain your memories I just want you to know that I don't blame you. I don't even hate you; I don't ever think I could hate you. I am sorry that I could no longer be your breathe but it's time that I go find my own breathe. I just want you to be happy, don't go back to the insensitive robot, I want you to laugh and live with your friends like we used too. Talk with them inside of keeping everything inside. I know that giving Engin and Ferit power over the shares was shocking, but I know that they will do what is best for company and for you. Maybe one day I will be back, or maybe I will enjoy my new home so much I may never leave. But live your life Serkan Bloat to the fullest, and take care of my son Sirius. Who knows we may meet in a garden that I designed one day. 

Goodbye Serkan Bolat"

I read the letter two more times before I put the letter down. She is never coming back, she wants me to be happy without her in my life. That wasn't possible, my heart hurt to think about the children she said she would have and telling them the story of Apollo. She was going to have a family without me, a husband who would love her, a husband who would rub her swollen stomach with their child. A husband who would get to know the great love of Eda Yildiz. She would accomplish so many things, and I would be here alone without her.

I don't try to hold back the tears I just let them fall, it was nothing compared to the tears that Eda had spilled in this same exact spot two nights ago. I rock back and forth while holding the bracelet that I had given to Eda. She had left everything behind that would remind her of me and I couldn't blame her. I had hurt her to the point of no return. But it hurt so much, it felt like someone had dug their hand into my heart and had ripped out what was left of it.....