missed chance

16 | freedom

It was cold.

Lisa felt like her whole body was trembling, her hands are icy and her eyes are so heavy that she can't barely open it.

She let her arms wander around the bed, and she touched something, hoping it was who she thought it was, she called out.

"Nini?" she said, with her eyes closed.

The other person, awake already, felt a different type of betrayal and pain upon hearing Lisa. He wasn't the one she looked for the moment her eyes opened, it wasn't him the boyfriend, but the childhood love next door.

"Lisa, it's me." he called out.

Upon hearing this, Lisa opened her eyes and felt guilty. She just called for the person she was cheating on, and not the one she was in a relationship with beside her, "Good morning." she managed to say.

"It's only five, you're up early. Are you alright?" he asked, and lay her hands on her forehead, "You're burning, Lisa."

Lisa was aware that Sehun has dropped the endearments, it was just Lisa now. And it was a signal for her, Sehun needs to know now.

When he was about to stand up and get some towel to wipe on Lisa for the fever to subside — she held on his hand, "Let's talk."

He nodded, "Can I just get you some medicine first? And a towel to wipe on you."

Lisa nodded, more time for her to think this through. After a while, Sehun returned and gave her water and medicine. She whispered a faint thank you. And lay down once more, as Sehun wiped the wet towel all over her face and arms.

"I'm sorry." was all she can say.

"I haven't been honest with you, I don't deserve you." she managed to add, while Sehun was still wiping her.

"I cheated again," Sehun stiffed for a while, finally hearing the confession he was anticipating, "But this time, I don't regret it."

"I tried, Sehun. I did. I tried to be faithful, but I just can't. It feels like every cell in my body wants her. It was her that I want, and I gave in. I followed what my heart wants."

"I know." Sehun said, finally. "The moment I saw you both in the airport, I felt it. And when we entered this room, it feels like I'm not supposed to be here. It feels like, she has all her shadows here."

He spoke, finishing off wiping Lisa's arms. "When I saw her shirt here, I just knew. I tried to deny it, but the hints are for me to see."

"I'm sorry." Lisa sobbed, "Know that I did love you. I did adore you, and I loved the time we shared. There was a time that you became the love of my life."

"I know, Lisa. I do," he sat there just looking down, "And I'm happy you gave me chance, and even if it hurts and I feel betrayed, I'm glad you once loved me. Even if it's unfair when I know I've loved you since I met you at that coffee shop three years ago, and honestly — I still do."

Lisa sat down, and reached to hug him, "You deserve way better, Sehun. I'm so sorry."

"Who am I to come in between your love?" he smiled and hugged Lisa back as he kissed her forehead once more, "I just want you to be happy."

There was a pause then, they just stood there and hugged each other, the warmth and comfort. The pain and forgiveness.

"Get some sleep. If you're fine by later, we can join Rosie and the others for the afternoon tour." Sehun said.

And Lisa did what Sehun said, she drifted off to sleep, with pain yet satisfaction. That finally, she and Sehun had the talk.

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