Love Is For Children ~Hawkeye & Black Widow (Part One & Two)

Tapestry of Life

Depressed.

Angry.

Sad.

Confused.

Lost.

Depressed.

Angry.

Angrier.

Lost.

Clint cycled through and though this list since he'd learnt Natasha had supposedly moved on. All he could do was workout, pack his suitcase over and over again, and read over the Intel notes profusely without taking anything in. He'd managed to make it till Saturday without showing Natasha any evidence of how he was truly feeling, managing to avoid her with excuses and training. He knew Natasha had probably done background tracks on the man she was seeing on Saturday, Harrison Brooke, but Clint had taken it upon himself to do check after check on him. 

There was no dirt on the man, and in fact Harrison looked like a pretty good guy, but Clint still didn't believe Harrison was good enough for Natasha. He didn't think anyone would be good enough for some a woman like her, he didn't even think himself worthy at times but that didn't mean he wanted anyone else to have her, he'd always wanted her, he'd had her, and now he still, as always, wants Natasha. Clint wouldn't face up or ever claim he was going through heartbreak, and as a matter of fact he'd never claim to be depressed. Clint told himself through times of pain that this was just a drop stich in the rich tapestry of life. 

Clint and Natasha's flight was leaving tomorrow at sharply 10:15am, and if Natasha's predictions of it only being at least a 72 hour tops under cover protocol, then he knew he could pull through. Clint didn't have a reason to hate this Harrison guy, but he was still swollen with pure jealously. Clint had hoped he could have told Natasha the truth, and he'd even had childish fantasies of her suddenly remembering everything and they could carry on from where they left off, but his hopes had been dismayed by the truth that Natasha had apparently moved on. 

Clint was hurt.

"Is this dress too revealing"? Natasha strolled into the living room sporting a green scoop neck dress, garnished with specks of darker green emeralds down the sides. The only thing revealing about the dress was the fact it accentuated Natasha's slim, curved figure and clung to her firm thighs. It wasn't revealing in Clint's opinion, but he still wasn't comfortable knowing that Harrison would be the one to be seen with her and admire her while Clint sat alone. 

"No, it looks good" Clint smiled shortly before delving back into the sheets of Intel for distraction. 

"Thank you" Natasha smiled - hiding the fact she was a little disappointed that she didn't receive a bigger reaction from him but shook it off. "Don't wait up" Natasha chuckled while waving her hand as she left the apartment, leaving Clint alone in silence. Of course he'd wait up, Clint didn't even give it a second thought. Clint would be stuck waiting up thinking about what was happening, if she were okay, if he touched her and better yet, if she was touching him. 

It had only been ten minutes since she'd left and he was already in agony. He was mentally creating every possible scenario in his head - playing out make believe situations that were torturing him. Clint pushed the Intel off his lap onto the coffee table in the lounge. If he was going to have to suffer for hours until she returned and he could learn the truth, he needed the aid of liquid to numb his worry. 

1 hour later

Two glasses of whiskey and coke. Two episodes of Friends. No return of Natasha as of yet.

Clint was considerably chilled as far as chilled an agent could get, especially one who was certain he was about to lose the woman he loved forever. Clint had made a desperate call to Banner, asking him if she'd ever remember everything and to Clint's dismay, Banner informed him there was always the chance there would be certain memories and chunks of her life that Natasha would never ever remember.