Love Is For Children ~Hawkeye & Black Widow (Part One & Two)

Miserable At Best

Kissing.

It's a strange, peculiar and very well known act that occurs between two people. It can be platonic, between a mother and child, or a benign gesture between friends with simple pecks on the cheek, or it can be something more, it can be passionate and deep between lovers, a kiss can seal a deal or end up breaking one.

Once their lips touched, Clint was a goner. He lost himself completely in the kiss, praying Natasha would remember it all just from the touch of his lips. Their lips moved slowly and softly, giving Natasha the time to get used to Clint's lips on hers.

Her heart was beating madly as the kiss deepened, both of her hands cradled Clint's face - the feel of rough stubble on her hands was only electrifying the atmosphere further. Natasha sunk into the kiss even more, because as she kissed him things were starting to become clearer slightly.

Clint supported her back and neck before rolling on the carpet till he was above her. Natasha was quite startled to begin with, her heart beating hard as the kiss entered the dangerous zone as the two of them pulled and grasped at each other. It was only when Clint's hand began to travel up her shirt when Natasha pushed him away.

"Clint, I can't, I'm sorry. We're best friends" Natasha pulled away from Clint, shuffling back against the couch - arms wrapping around herself as if she were exposed. Clint stared at her, eyes still glazed and mouth open. "We're best friends Clint, we don't do that, right"? Natasha caught her breath, feeling a little panicked by the whole change in situation.

Clint didn't want her to pull away or feel awkward, he wanted her to feel safe and as is if she could trust him just like she could before. He struggled for a moment to find his voice, but finally managed to speak. "Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry, I think it was just cause I'd missed you so much, you know, rush of hormones" Clint chaffed the back of his neck, not daring to make direct contact.

An awkward silence fell over the two, almost suffocating them. Natasha wiped her lips subtly before pulling her legs into her chest. Natasha thought for a moment before breaking the silence. "There was nothing between us before right"?

Shit. Clint thought, he held his breath for what felt like minutes - trying to create a valid answer without scaring her away. He didn't want to frighten her away, he only wanted her to be closer to him and learn to trust him again. The trust Clint and Natasha had before was golden and immaculate, and getting such a bond back would be hard work.

He feared that if he told her of their previous relationship and all the deep emotions that ran between them she would freak out, just like she freaked out in the bedroom and when he touched her hand for the first time.

He couldn't lose her, not again.

"No, of course not". Clint lied easily, smiling falsely but still believably. A pang of pain shuddered through his chest as Natasha seemed to sigh in relief.

Natasha excused herself to the bathroom shortly after that, and in there she splashed her face several times and even cried a little bit, and Clint would have been able to cope if it weren't for the fact he felt guilty.

He lied, he lied seriously to the woman he loved, he knew he'd have to tell her soon because one day she would start remembering the moments they shared together, and it would only hurt her more if she had to find out herself.

Clint sat on his own in silence, his head slowly dropping into his hands as the weight of the world seemed to fall on his shoulders.

-

A few hours had passed since their incident and the cold atmosphere soon vanished. Natasha knew she had to stick to her own promise, the promise that he could be nothing more than a friend.