The Bell Jar - Summary Chapter

19

Now that she has been fitted for a diaphragm, Esther decides she is ready to lose her virginity-the struggle over purity has been oppressing her for some time. Practically, she decides to take care of the matter by hooking up with the first suitable man she meets rather than waiting to have her first sexual experience with someone she loves. She meets a math professor named Irwin and decides he will do.

Unfortunately, sex with Irwin causes Esther to hemorrhage. Irwin drives her to the apartment where Joan is now living; Joan has trouble finding a doctor who can help Esther. None of the male doctors Joan calls will agree to help. One of them hangs up when he hears the word "period." It is Sunday-"the doctor's paradise," says Esther-and she imagines a sea of men everywhere "resolutely being people, not doctors." Finally Joan takes Esther to the hospital in a taxi. Even the doctor in the emergency department is strangely callous. He whistles when he sees Esther's wound and laughs when she asks whether he can fix it: "Oh, I can fix it, all right," he answers aggressively. Patched up, Esther returns to the psychiatric hospital. A few nights later, she is awakened by Joan's doctor, who tells her that Joan, who has also returned to the hospital, is missing. At dawn, Joan's doctor again comes to Esther's room and tells her that Joan has hanged herself on the grounds.