When I look at you

Chapter 21: jackie

ARIAS POV:
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I guess I was jealous, jealous of losing you. Ezra I lied to you about something."

EZRAS POV:
"You could never lose me. Look Aria I know you lied. I know you felt pressured to tell me you loved me. It's okay. Hopefully you'll get to that point. But if not it's okay."

ARIAS POV:
"Look it's not that I don't love you. It's the time I had to watch my mom break down and break her teeth on vodka bottles for 3 years when my dad left. It's like she stopped breathing. It's like he took apart of her away. He walked out of the house with her heart that day. I think part of her died. I can still hear the slamming of the door when I was 4. Her chest was empty. She was a shattered mess of cracked ribs and depression pills. She felt worthless. It was the nights I had to leave home because she couldn't handle herself enough to take care of us. It's not that I don't love you. It's all the blood. The night when I was in the bathroom then to a hospital. Everyone was waiting 12 hours in the emergency room to make sure I was going. To be okay. It's the crying and dark rooms and silent screams. It's the shaky breaths and blood. So much blood. It's not that I don't love you it's the time I had to stay up two straight days with my best friend while she cried and screamed and threw up in my bathroom until the point she was sick. All because of a stupid word called love. Its not that I don't love you. It's that I do. I mean it. I thought I meant it before but I know I do now. I really do and I want to be with you. I mean I meant it then but I'm not so shaky now. Just I don't want all of this to be destroyed."

EZRAS POV:
"Aria... I.. I, I could never let anyone come between us. I'm in love with you. Your my best friend, soul mate, my smile, my world and if I lost you I would lose all of that and I just can't. Aria I'm quitting my job at rosewood I'm no longer going to be your English teacher. I'm going to work at Hollis they offered me the job. We're going to make this work I know we will. Your the person I want to spend my life with."

Two months later***

ARIAS POV:
It seems closer and closer to graduation day but I haven't decided which colleges to apply to. We're now five months away from graduation and this "A" is still here. Ezra and me have been having our problems here and there but have made it thus far. I'll never give up on us and I hope he never does. He told me he had something to talk about tonight but I'm scared to hear it. I wait on his call for about an hour after school. "Aria? Hey I need to talk to you about something serious." He said. "Ezra um sure" I respond "look jackie works here now and I didn't know this until now until I bumped into her today. I walked away but I just felt you should know. Can you come to my office tomorrow? Please? Your dad will be gone." He said. I whisper through the phone "sure bye ezra" "Aria?! I lov-" I hung up before I could hear those words. The next day I decided to go to his office but when I pulled up in front of his building I saw jackie. Jackie was walking in as well. I followed her. Followed her into his office. I didn't go in I stood outside the door. I didn't hear so much talking. Then finally I did. I decided to walk in to see jackie leaning in towards him. I rushed out as I dropped the coffees. I ran to my car. Tears were streaming down my face seeing him running out after me yelling my name. I drove as fast and far away from Hollis for away. I didn't know where to go until I saw sam. Walking he saw me crying and tried to talk to me as I was at a stoplight. I didn't talk he got in my car and said he wasn't leaving. I drove home with him in my car with tears streaming. He followed me inside I found a note to find my mom left with my dad for the weekend again and I found mike was gone once again and I was home alone with sam. I don't even care if he hurts me anymore this pain can't be half of what I felt before right?