When I look at you

Chapter 16; four walls

ARIAS POV:
I called the girls for no answer. I went home for the weekend to find my parents and mike all gone for the weekend. I am so emotionally drained from whatever he did to me. I just stare at blank walls and listen to the same damn song in hope I guess to finally understand what happened but it's pointless because all I see is a blank wall and all I hear is the same song. I thought was this for the best? It couldn't. I hate feeling these feelings knowing he never felt the same way for me all along. He never was prepared to fight for me. He said there was nothing he wouldn't do for me but that was a lie everything was a lie he whispered in my ear. Because any guy can buy you flowers and say "I love you" and make you feel special. Not all of them mean it. Some of them take the nightmares away and make you believe again. It's crazy how you build up all these walls just to let your guards down because you told yourself he's different. He's special. Was he? "B26" keeps continuing to play. Ain't it funny how the melody can bring back the memory but not the person? I guess I should've known my luck never changes. I wonder if he imagines what could happen if we could have anything? Any wish. My wish would to be with him in another place and to get the hell out of rosewood like he told me we would one day. Bonnie and Clyde never had to hide like we did. It's sad because I close my eyes remembering that first moment. The first moment we laid eyes on eachother. I find the tears streaming more and more down my face. He was never prepared to be with me. But I was.

EZRAS POV:
I lay on my couch. I begin to think about the first day we met. How I couldn't take my eyes off her. It's still the same way. She's no longer in my class. I won't get to see her anymore. Being with her made me feel beyond words. I feel numb. I wish I would've let her speak to explain herself but I just can't. I can't have her calling in love with me like I have with her. I don't want her to regret or get herself into something with somebody she doesn't want to be with. I want her more than anything. If I could have one wish, she'd be that wish. Then I would thank that star for making my wish come true. Sometimes you dream there's a chance you'll find and hope one day you'll have a happy ever after. It doesn't come nor will it I have to say. What's special about her is she gets herself into everything. She's so tiny. Her smile oh that smile how id love to have my lips pressed against her lips right now. How'd if do anything to hold her and just wish I ever seen those texts. I'll never forgot those tears streaming down her face as because I hurt her. Not anyone only myself. I stare at these fours walls on my couch and just think about the happy times. I think what could've happened if she was just a normal student two seats over from the window in the back with a pretty face that I never payed much attention too. Aria has a face you can't forget and sometimes I think I should've just took a shot of want whiskey instead of going out to get a cup of coffee or maybe I should've waited a few more minutes to enter.

ARIAS POV:
It's now Sunday and I still hear the song. The same old song. I hear his laugh. I hear his sweet voice speaking to me. I see him in my dreams. I can't get this out of my head. I wake up to see a Monday hoping it was all over. Hoping the heartache was over. I woke up I didn't put much thought into getting ready today. I decided to take a shower wear some sweats pull my hair up and put some mascara and eye makeup on. I get to school to having to get a call from the office. They have removed me from my English class and placed me back with ezra. I walked to class with my rejection paper walked it to him went to my seat with my head down the remainder of class I received texts from hanna saying "he can't stop looking at you are you okay?" I felt as if I ran out of tears because I couldn't cry anymore into my sweatshirt. The bell rung but as I picked up my books and tried to rush out I heard a voice "miss. Montgomery can I speak with you for a moment?" My heart fell and it bested fast I turned slowly wiping the tears away. It hurt to look at him. It hurt to have my eyes open they were so swollen I felt it. I could barely see his face. I heard him shut the door. I saw him stare at me with tears in his eyes looking at me... He tried to speak but Sam came in "Aria baby? I haven't heard from you? Are you okay? The girls said you needed me and you didn't look well" he walked towards me and tried kissing my forehead. I saw ezra looking at me puzzled. I pushed Sam away knowing we were over why was he here. As much as I wanted and needed to speak to ezra I walked out and made Sam leave me alone. After my next class I ran to Ezras room I needed to speak with him. He was gone. I received a text at that moment. "English class and English teachers oh my! Read page 126 and you'll soon know. Check your locker. Kisses -A" I ran to my locker knowing I was late to class I ran to my car reading this poem over and over and over. B26 "its a number. it's a song. It's a girl. Smooth. Pearl joy packed. Gold palafeh, as though ice. It's four-thirty morning with phone calls. It's deaf mute. It's cheap. A foreign car. Maybe bingo. Lucky night? Something says it smells bad." A poem by ezra fitz. I cried the whole way home. How dare he feel these feelings for me. I drive to his apartment I know he's there.

EZRAS POV:
I left school before my last period.
I couldn't deal with the thought of her with him. I get drunk on jealousy. I hear crying in the halls...