When I look at you

Chapter 28: slipped through my fingers

ARIAS POV:
I heard ezra was back today and I wanted to speak to him. I wanted to confront him. I decided the only way I was going to get back was going to the principals house tonight and tell him about our relationship. But just because I miss him doesn't mean I should go back to him. Sometimes you just got to keep missing someone until you wake up one morning and realize you don't anymore. I hate the way he talked so smoothly to me. I hate the way he cut his hair. I hate the way he read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick. If you were trying to break my heart it worked its great its a great feeling to. You know waking up every two minutes just to find yourself in front a toilet throwing up what's left in your stomach the night before graduation. But hey I'm going to make you pay for this. I hate the way you were always right. I hate it that you lied. I hate the thought that you used to make me laugh. Even worse that you make me cry. I hated it when you weren't around and didn't call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. I hate the way I'm still in love with you. I don't hate you even alittle but not at all. Because I feel this is all my fault. It's crazy because I feel crazy and how this was shattered over something so stupid. And how you can be wrecked over one thing that people take for granted everyday. But when I tell my daughter this story one day it'll start out by me telling her how I fell in love with my best friend how when he was around I felt nothing but joy. He knew that I was broken but he didn't mind. He told me it broke his heart to see me cry. But hey he left me on the cold hard ground crying. Suddenly my mom walks in. "Sweetie I can't stand seeing you like this." She said. "Yeah I know me neither. You were right I should have never got involved with him." I said. "Honey things get better. You loved him. I don't know what happened. Just it'll get better." She said. "Do things really get better? Or do we just get use to things. In sorry I can't do this now. I'm going to get sick." I said and rushed to the toilet again. Memories flash in my head. Thinking back its been sexy and dangerous and awful and wonderful like a story. It was perfect just some things just aren't meant to be. It was just like we were on another planet like the world was ours and nothing could break us. But you promised you'd never break my heart or never leave me in the dark and you'd love me for all time but that was when you were mine. God I drove myself insane to the point on insanity because I was so in love with him. I wish I was as cold as stone so I would feel a thing and then I would have this heart and It wouldn't hurt like this. I walk to sit on my stairs to seeing my parents dancing around our dinning room table. The song came on. B26. Seeing how happy they were made me happy and gave me hope but also brought tears to my eyes because that was our song. I couldn't help but sing along and it that blew my mind because I was crying in between my legs and I couldn't help it. Maybe I should treat you the same way you treated me then maybe you'd know how much it hurts. How much I wish you would walk through that door and tell me it was never meant to hurt me. Because I'm reaching out for you in my dreams as you turn away. Our final touch was magical. Because we can't be friends anymore because I can't stand seeing you and not being able to touch you knowing where we've been. I decided to get up and get my cap and gown and tell the principal about everything. I got my keys and went in as is. First thing I see walking in the halls of course was him. I rush passed him as if he wasn't there.

EZRAS POV:
My hearts breaking. I've seen her naked in more ways than one. I just can't take this or change what I've done. Just somewhere, somewhere deep down I hope some love still remains. Because here we go again sitting on the edge of leaving. I see it in her eyes seeing her in the hall today getting her cps and gown. I just wanted to tell her breathe in breathe out it'll be okay. Just think about the love we made. I wish she just give it one more try and we could stop this goodbye and through this pain some love still remains. I see her rush past me but its crazy because it's hard to deal with the pain of losing her seeing her everywhere I go but I make it. I smiled to see her walk past me. I live every day with regrets now. It's hard getting up getting dressed but if I could do it over I would trade and give away all the words that I said and speak my heart more. Watching her walk away hurts. I don't know what could've been.

ARIAS POV:
I rushed past hanna and the girls and they all ran after me and see Ezra at the end of the hallway leaned against the way in tears. But ran after me. I was on my way to the office. Hanna grabbed me and pulled me into the bathroom. "Your suppose to take this week off Aria what in the hell are you doing here!?" They said. "I'm telling the principal everything okay everything in our relationship."
"No Aria you can't you'll ruin him this will all come back and get you and will be all over the news paper and it'll hurt him as much as you." She said. "Are you taking his side!?" I said. "No of course not just it'll hurt your family as well." She said. I ran out of the bathroom went to the office paid for my cap and gown I saw ezra sitting in tears. I saw Sam at his locker. I rushed past the both of them as more tears were streaming down my face seeing him crying. I ran out of the school and didn't look back.