When I look at you

Chapter 32: through to you

EZRAS POV:
I can't help how I feel anymore. I just don't want to be here anymore. I just want to drink my pain away but I can't. I know how much Aria hates drinking away her problems and never wanted to see me do it. But she's not mine once again. She's gone. I hate myself. Why did I even do this? How can I ever get through to her. She's leaving tomorrow and I don't know where too. I can't let her just leave. I decided I'll wake up and go and try to talk to her in the morning.

ARIAS POV:
Laying here looking at all my things packed up and the fact I'm leaving this small little town behind. Me and my bestfriends were all going out separate ways finally. Ali is still stuck in school for missing it. It hurt because I know ezra will teach there again and will have her in his class and smile at her just the way he acted towards me. I was always confused about the whole book he wrote. I read some of the lines about her. "The first thing Alison told me about herself was a lie." I threw the packet I didn't want to read the next few lines thinking it would say something like "that's what made me fall for her." Ezra always told me he hated lies but maybe he lied because he wanted to know everything about me even though he already knew. But hey when people treat you like they don't care believe them right..? But people always leave you in the cold and get mad when you learn to get warm on your own. I lay on my bed and dream about the day he'll love me once again. Then I remember all the words he said that make me fall in love all over again. "It's a number. It's a song. It's a girl. Smooth. Pearl joy packed. Gold falafel, as though Ice. It's four-thirty. Morning with phone calls, deaf mute. It's cheap. A foreign car. Maybe bingo. Lucky night? Something says it smells bad." I don't think I'll ever forget those words. Especially because he can write something so beautiful just to lie and mean it for someone else. Maybe that was his goodbye... In my dreams it's like I keep reaching out for him hoping he'll stay. But I have nothing left to give that's good enough for him. I still feel his warm touch from our final touch. I slowly drift off to wake up the next morning. Still feeling the emptiness inside. I woke up to throwing up once more. But quickly that ended as my dad loaded my bags into the car. When I went downstairs for my final breakfast with my parents and mike we all sat together before we said our goodbyes. I went back upstairs to take one final look as to what I was leaving behind. I saw the picture of me and ezra I pick it up and put it in my pocket and shut the door and walk down the stairs to say my goodbyes to finally leave this town and ezra behind. I get into my car I take the picture out and put it in my passenger seat. I was on my way finally.
after hours of driving from 4am and gas station stops in finally here at 4pm California time. Just to spot who I didn't expect to see Sam.

EZRAS POV:
I woke up at 3:56 am and rushed out my door hoping Aria hadn't left yet. Once I pulled in front of her house the car was gone. I saw her room curtains open and it looked empty. She was really gone and I'd never get her back.. I just wish there was some way to tell her and hold her once more.