im sorry- a ghostinnit Story (On A Break For Now)

"tommy lets go on a walk"

I looked around as people sat around laughing and crying over the books. Except for 3, the boy who was in blue, dream, and a guy with back hair,  in a white shirt with a fire symbol on it. The boy in blue and dream seemed angry, but the black hair boy seemed happy? No wait he had the look of pity?? His emotions were so mixed and hard to read. He was looking in his lap. I looked closer and he had a bucket of water in his lap with a little fish inside.
"M-mars..."
Tubbo who still hasn't left my side looked at me confused.
"What?"
I pointed to the boy with the water bucket with a fish in it.
"The boys fish, its names mars... but I can't remember the boys name, that's going to annoy me!"
Tubbo looked at him, his eyes almost shut he was squinting so hard.
"Oh thats-"
I cut him off.
"No let me figure it out!! Now go read your book I kinda wanna walk around alone."
Tubbo nodded sadly but walked to the chest anyway. I sighed and started to walk around looking at everyone. Some glanced at me, some did nothing, some waved happily mostly with tears in their eyes, and others gave me death glares. I tried to look for someone I know and someone I could talk to.. but no one really seemed to want to talk. I looked around once again and saw philza talking to tubbo and...
"GHOSTBUR!!!"
I yell and run over to them ghostbur turns around quickly and stares at me. He looked scared and sad but like always even with wilbur, always had that glint of laughter and proudness in his eyes. I smile at him and my wings flap happily.
"Im a ghost, bitch!!!"
He laughs, but it sounded sad. I didn't like how he was sad, I didn't like how anyone was sad. Only dream deserved to be sad. Phil wrapped a arm around me.
"Hey tommy?"
Phil asks as he keeps his eyes on the books ghostbur was holding, there were 5 books.
"Wanna go see techno? We wanna read all are books together and since there is one for all of us."
I kinda freeze up but nod.
"We won't have to go to L'manberg or through the nether right...?"
Ghostbur seemed shocked and he looked in pain. I guess he understood what I was getting at... he understood. Phil looked confused and tubbo looked sad.
"No tommy its just that way."
He points in the direction of technos house. I nod and I grab tubbos hand (not a ship!!) keeping him close once again.
No one really looked up at us. Just kept reading their books, talking, looking around, some even got ready to leave. I didn't really care i just looked ahead as Phil lead the way to technos house. I was scared very scared. I didn't want to see him... I knew he would be mad at me and probably try to kill me. I could tell tubbo noticed my worry because he leaned close onto me and grabbed my hand tighter. We soon got to the snow area which phil told me was where techno house was so we were getting close. Tubbo was cold so I wrapped my wings around him. I was constantly warm so I didn't really mind helping him warm up.
Soon philza came to a stop. I stopped next to him. There was a log cabin and I would see someone looking out the window.
"Everyone come with me and I recommend you tubbo stay close. Tommy stay here."
My jaw drops annoyed.
"Thats not fair!! I wanna see techno!"
Phil looks at me and smiles.
"And you will but let me talk to him first it would be to much for you to just bardge in. You are his little brother you know."
I froze.
"You think techno cares im dead...?"
Phils eyes go wide as he turns around once again.
"Tommy... come here son.. of course he cares. Every time I visit he asks how you are... come here give me a hug." He opens his arms wide. I and run into them gripping onto his shirt. He wraps his arms around me. It last a few seconds then he lets go and turns to ghostbur and tubbo.
"Ready?"
They nod, tubbo going to phils side. They walk to the house and techno lets them in quickly. Phil smile and waves and they walk in techno shuts the door and im left alone in the snow. I sit on the ground the snow around me melting leaving me in a perfect circle of green wet grass. I look at my hands. My fingers were for like claws and the tips of them were black. I look at my legs that were covered in random burns, it wasn't my whole leg but there were a lot of burns. My pants were also now shorts. Guess half got burned off. I jump out of my thoughts by Phil calling my name. I look up at him and he waves me over. I stand up and walk to Phil.
"Ready..?"
Phil asks me worried. I pause and think. I wasn't ready but I dont want to sound weak so instead I say.
"Im always ready!"
He laughs and my wings fold onto my back as I grab onto phils hand.
He opens the door and he practically drags me in. I look at the floor. I could feel technos hard cold glare on the top of my head.
"Tommy."
It wasnt a question or statement it was just tommy, I always hated how he could say words in a way where they seem like just words. I look up at him. His red eyes were glaring at me, but if I look at then real hard I could see the pain in them. He stared at me for a long time.
"Haha long time no see the blade-"
"So how did it happen?"
He asks me, I could tell he was trying not to cry. He was doing a very good job at holding them back. I look at him and I begin to sob. I didn't want to and I tried to hold them back but techno seemed so disappointed and I hated it.
"I-im sorry.. im sorry techno!"
I choke out and techno stands there wide eyes.
"Tommy..?"
Ghostbur asks softly putting a hand on my shoulder.
"Are you.....?"
I wipe my eyes and try to suck it up.
"Yeah.. im sorry."
She shakes his head and hugs me.
"Dont be sorry! This is hard! I remember how hard it was when I first learned..."
I nod and let him hug me until I calm. I soon let go and turn to techno who's eyes were becoming more puffy and glossy as he holds his tears back more.
"So how did it happen?"
I nod and look at my feet.
"I um jumped..."
Techno stood there silent.
"Why"
"What do you mean why!? I wanted to die! No one cared for me so I ended it all!"
I dont know why I was so mad I just wanted to scream till my throat went out... I look up, techno was shocked. I hear a sob and tubbo was crying into phils shirt and phil had tears in his eyes. Ghostbur stared at me in shock, it seemed I have broken him.
"Tommy..."
Phil says, I was starting to get mad they kept saying my name in that pitying tone!
"Well it's the truth! Not one of you visited me in exile! I can understand why techno didn't because he doesn't live in L'manburg and he doesn't worry for me and probably doesn't care but phil and tubbo knew and didn't visit me once!!! Ghostbur did and he was one of the reasons I wanted to live!"
I looked down at the ground mad. I didn't want to say what I said but it happened. I felt arms around me, my head now on their chest. I look up to see technos long pink bangs covering his eyes.
"Tommy let's go on a walk..."