days go by, weeks go by. it all starts to seem like a blur to me if i'm being perfectly honest. i haven't cared about myself in days, weeks, its been so long. all that matters to me is my brother's health. i've become obsessed with worrying about it. times like these, i wish we had parents, i wonder if they would ever like to see us and how far we've come.
everyone is always around, dropping off food, clothes, flowers, balloons, and teddy bears. i feel so loved, yet so empty at the same time. i sit alone with my thoughts in the hospital room after marek's tiring day of constant blood work and physical therapy. everyone is pressuring me to leave and go home, but i cant. i just can't. i haven't left this ward in however long it's been since the accident.
the night it happened was october 9th, and now it's november 17th. once i check the calendar to confirm my suspicion of how long i've been here, i send myself into shock. thanksgiving and christmas, my two favourite holidays were approaching and i had completely disregarded them. my mind is still running a million miles per second in constant worry of my brother's state.
he's been awake for the last month, moving and all, however, he's been extremely weak and i am anything but used to seeing him that way. in my eyes, my older brother has always been the strong, karate doing, goofball. and now, his abilities have vanished due to an accident i practically caused.
i look around the dark room as the 39th night of our stay approaches. the soft sounds of crickets outside of the window behind me, the noises of the doctors walking through the hallways, it's all far too familiar. i decide that it's finally time i leave. i need to. i look over at marek to see him blankly staring at me. it startles me as i notice it's 3am.
"go home, andy. go."
"what changed?" i ask, not surprised he prompted this,
"nothing did, you've always needed to go home... leave."
i nod, admitting defeat. i knew this was for the best and he knew i knew that. i pack up some things and drive back to otv.
i walk up to the house, with sleep in my eyes and tiredness visible in my frame. i softly knock on the door, knowing he would be awake. i stood corrected.
as soon as he noticed me, he pulled me into a hug. i just helplessly clung onto his shirt and heard him whisper,
"you're home." you could hear the smile and relief behind his words. i look up at him and smile right back.
"hi, corpse."
a few moments pass before we shuffle inside. i drop my bag next to the kitchen counter and chug a glass of orange juice. i missed real orange juice. next, i grab some ice cream and lay it down on the counter, and a leftover hamburger from wendy's, and finally three tuna rolls. i drop down on the stool at the kitchen bar and start eating my favourite food and try to regain my sanity. the food is gone in minutes. corpse stares at me, evidently blown away.
"that was fast."
"i was hungry."
"fair enough," corpse said as he munches on a cupcake.
"are you ready for thanksgiving?"
"no," i applied, rubbing my head.
"im just going to go to the hospital and be with him there, and same thing for christmas. how about you?"
"ill probably go to the hospital too," corpse added.
"hopefully, he'll be here for new years."
10 days later
i lay down on the couch, catching myself deep in thought once again, at 3am. do i really care about christmas?
no was my answer. i lived up to my word to corpse, and he lived up to his as well. both of us, and of course, everyone else was at the hospital for thanksgiving.
