LOVELY

~ 3.24 ~

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'I've waited a hundred years.
But I'd wait a million more for you. Nothing prepared me for.
What the privilege of being yours would do.'
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Guilt could be suffocating if you let it swallow you whole. It could be a pool of turbulent emotions that drowned you if there was no one to help pull you out. More often than not, people found themselves wracked with guilt for reasons lost to the subconscious of the human mind. Fingers tapping nervously against her thigh, Indiana grappled with her own feelings of guilt as her feet shuffled down the echoing hallway.

The swinging doors to the Hospital loomed ever closer as she took one thudding footstep after another. Halfway down the hallway, her feet decided to stop moving of their own accord. Turning on her heel, Indiana debated whether she should just walk back the way she came. Johanna was the only survivor of the Prisoners of the Capitol that Indiana had avoided spending time alone with. The only time they had interacted was when they were forced together by the numerous rules and strict routine that District Thirteen enforced. They certainly never sat down with each other and conversed about their emotions regarding what they had suffered.

Forgiveness was far trickier to master than guilt and Indiana hadn't quite become proficient in forgiving people who had wronged her yet (at least not those she had previously been close with). As a result, the distance between her and Johanna grew. Each time she looked at the face of the woman who had been her friend – the woman who knew all that Indiana had lost – her aunt's face being projected into the arena's sky refused to dissipate from her mind. Whilst she regretted not being there for the woman in the time that Johanna needed her most, Indiana seriously considered running back down the hallway and to the comfort of her room. Sighing, the blonde turned back towards the Hospital doors, marching forwards with newfound determination.

Katniss had rushed down to enter the Hospital the moment they were done in Command, eager to pass her condolences along to the woman who would no longer be allowed to her roommate. Soldiers hurried to and from the Hospital, aiding those who (like Johanna) had failed their examination and required medical assistance. Each one cast unsubtle side glances as Indiana continued to stand by the doors, and was still stood there by the time that they exited the sterile area. Dark stone paved the floor beneath her boots but as the doors swung open, the stark contrast between concrete and white tile was blinding. The acrid scent of lemon burned her nose as she inhaled deeply in an effort to cool her nerves. Grimacing at the reek of disinfectant, Indiana took a step forward, hand reaching to push the door open and take a step forward. She had spent too much time in that place and every time she was forced to return was a horrible reminder of the state she had arrived at District Thirteen in.

Ignoring the hair prickling on her arms, she told herself that she had come so far from that broken little girl despite the small amount of time that had passed. Would comforting someone who had caused her such agony be worth the damage it could to her mentality? Realising that she was so exhausted of being strong for those around her when all she wanted to do was crumble, Indiana decided entering Johanna's room was the last thing she wished to spend her afternoon off doing. What she really wanted was to wash away the sweat of her examination and crawl into bed where she would wait for the moment strong arms wrapped lovingly around her waist, pulling her into the muscular body of her husband.