"You slept with someone and never called them again?"
Mikey sat on Frank's couch with his head in his hands, Gerard standing over him with his hands on his hips. "Mikey, I can't believe you would do that!"
"I never said I would call her," Mikey explained. "She never asked me to. It was just a hook up."
"Mikey," Gerard said earnestly, "When you sleep with someone, your body makes a promise whether you do or not."
Mikey looked at Frank. "This is because I didn't back you up the other night, isn't it?"
Frank just grinned at him and gave him the thumbs up.
Gerard gave Mikey a sorrowful look. "Playing with someone's feelings is wrong, Mikey, you know that."
"I had sex outside of marriage," Mikey said flatly. "I think I'm already in the sin bin."
"God doesn't care where you stick your dick," Gerard waved his arms at Mikey. "He cares about you playing with someone's heart. That's the sin!"
"Oh, for - I wasn't playing with her, Gerard, she never even asked if she could see me again."
"Of course she wants to see you again, Mikey!" Gerard said incredulously. "You're you." There was a silence, eventually broken by Ray saying, "Aww."
Gerard sat down next to Mikey and put his hand on his knee. "Even if this wouldn't help Frank," he said quietly, "I know you would call her because it's the right thing to do. The fact that your friends' livelihoods could depend on it is just a bonus, right?"
Mikey sat up and looked at Gerard. "They give you classes in how to be right all the time?"
"Nope," Gerard grinned. "I get that from Mom."
"Fine," Mikey said. "Fine, I'll call her."
Brian made everyone jump then, by slamming both his fists into the table, then flinging them over his head and yelling, "YES!"
Everyone stared at him. "Sorry," he said sheepishly, "I'm just so fucking relieved, Jesus Christ, oh thank fucking God."
"Dude." Ray made the cut it out gesture at Brian. "Ixnay on the asphemy-blay."
Bob rolled his eyes. "I'm pretty sure the Father speaks actual Latin, Toro."
"He does," Mikey said proudly.
Brian looked abashed. "Sorry, Father."
"Absit iniuria verbis," said Gerard. Then he turned to Mikey and said sternly, "Magnum frates spectat te."
"For fuck's sake," said Mikey, pulling out his phone.
Frank was watching all of this from his bed, where Brian had insisted he stay until further notice. He wondered idly if the Romans had sounded sexy when they spoke Latin. Then he freaked out that God might have heard that, and coughed loudly as if that would cover it up.
Brian sprang up immediately and came rushing over. "Are you okay? Do you need water? Anything?"
"I'm fine, Brian, I keep telling you," Frank said, waving him off. "Especially now we know Haywood infected his own damn balls."
Brian perched on the edge of the bed and touched Frank's wrist lightly, over the bandage. "Does it hurt?"
"No," Frank shook his head. "That's weird, isn't it?"
"This whole thing is weird," Brian said fervently. "But at least we're not going to jail."
"I think I'd take a night in the cells over this crap," Frank said, closing his eyes.
