It wasn't true. Obviously it wasn't true. Mikey told Brian that, he told him again and again, screamed at him to stop touching Gerard if he was going to say that, to get away from him, to leave them alone. He held Gerard tighter to him and touched his face; he called his name, again and again.
Gerard didn't say anything. His eyes were open.
A long time later, someone touched Mikey's shoulder. It was one of the suits. Howard. He was wearing sunglasses. His lips moved.
"What?" Mikey said.
"I'm sorry for your loss," Howard said, kneeling down on the floor. "I understand that this is a difficult time for you, but we need to get Father Way's body back to the Vatican."
"Excuse me?" Brian appeared over Howard's shoulder, looking furious. "What the hell for?"
"Examination," said Howard, not looking at Brian.
Brian reached down and grabbed Howard's shoulder, yanking him around to face him. Howard didn't even stumble, just rose smoothly to his feet and stepped back out of Brian's reach.
"I understand that you're upset," he said, "But I would strongly advise that you avoid putting your hands on me again."
"You're out of your mind if you think we're letting you take him," Brian snapped, squaring up to Howard. "Examination? What the hell is that?"
"I'm not at liberty to discuss it," said Howard.
They started yelling at each other. Well, Brian yelled. Howard just kept responding in the same cool, even voice. It went on for what felt like a long time.
Someone started trying to pull Gerard away from Mikey. Mikey clung and fought them, but they were too strong. He didn't really understand why the other guys weren't helping; when he looked for them, they were scattered around, not looking at each other. Looking at Mikey. Looking at Mikey holding Gerard.
The Suits put Gerard on a wheeled stretcher. They put him in a long black bag.
They zipped it up over his face.
Howard was standing over Mikey. Mikey asked him, "What am I supposed to tell my Mom?"
"I really am sorry," Howard said. He hesitated, then added, "I liked him."
It was only when they got back to Pete's place that Mikey realized he didn't know what had happened after Gerard - after Gerard. He assumed that the Suits must have arrived in time to restrain the freaks in the hoods, that Pete was okay, that the kids hadn't lost their souls and died.
But it was the strangest thing: he just didn't care. He kept replaying that moment over and over in his mind; the moment when Gerard had hugged Mikey close and then told him, "Don't give up." That Mikey had begged him to make sure Frank came back alive. That Gerard had promised him he would.
The day seemed to go on for a long time. Then he thought maybe night fell; it seemed darker. He wasn't sure. He replayed the moment again. Again. Again. Searching for the clue Gerard must have given him, for the goodbye that he never, ever would have left without saying.
He replayed the moment again. Again. Again.
He was in the kitchen. It was light outside. He was holding a glass in his hand and standing in front of the sink. He turned on the faucet. He watched the water swirl around the base of the glass, watched the level rise. He turned the faucet off. He lifted the glass to his lips and drank the water. He placed the glass back on the counter and looked at it. He went back into the living room.
He said, "We can bring him back."
"No," said Ray, immediately, so fast Mikey knew he must have been thinking about it too. "No, Mikey, we can't."
